Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Do the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks?
As innovation nowadays
become
more progressive, it is common for Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
machines
to tackle down
several domestic tasks in our Change preposition
apply
home
. I believe the merits of Fix the agreement mistake
homes
this
surpass the drawbacks.
The main benefit for
Change preposition
of
machines
take
over our Wrong verb form
taking
task
in Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
house
is more efficient and effortless. Since the Add an article
the house
a house
machines
able to finish various and complicated in one time
, we only require
to operate the machine at the beginning, and the rest is could Wrong verb form
required
finish
by it. Using Wrong verb form
be finished
washing
machine to settle down our apparel problem, definitely making our life Correct article usage
a washing
getting
easier.
Verb problem
apply
Furthermore
, by using machines
to finish our task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
in
Change preposition
at
house
it is Add an article
the house
possibly
could save Replace the adverb
possible
our
Correct pronoun usage
us
time
, and make us more productive. It is because we can allocate our time
into
other things, which is more important rather than finishing monotone activity. Change preposition
to
Moreover
, we able
to utilize the Add a missing verb
are able
time
for our personal development benefit to learn something new by reading the book, or to attend the webinar.
However
, due to
the efficient
and productivity alluring by Replace the word
efficiency
machines
, it is
Unnecessary verb
apply
also
leave
us more Correct subject-verb agreement
leaves
high
addictive and dependent Replace the word
highly
to
it. It is possible that Change preposition
on
we
unable to finish the domestic Add a verb
we are
we were
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
while
we facing the
problems with Correct article usage
apply
an
electricityRemove the article
apply
,
since the Remove the comma
apply
machines
requires
it as the main power Change the verb form
require
sources
. To illustrate, the refrigerator will shut down and no longer preserves the food if the power Fix the agreement mistake
source
disappear
.
In conclusion, I believe the benefits Change the verb form
disappears
to hand
over our routine home Change preposition
of handing
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
into
Change preposition
to
machines
exceed the downsides. This
is because the merits of efficient, effortless, and productivity booster
surpass the dependent and addictive Fix the agreement mistake
boosters
to
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
machines
.Submitted by dwima.rizky on
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task response
To improve task response, include more specific examples and develop ideas further. For instance, detail how people utilize gained time for productive activities and how machine dependency can affect daily routines.
coherence
Strengthen logical structure by using clearer transitions between points. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and flows naturally to the next.
cohesion
Use cohesive devices to link sentences within paragraphs. Words like 'furthermore', 'moreover', and 'however' are useful, but avoid overusing them.
grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy, especially with subject-verb agreement and articles. For example, 'machines able to finish' should be 'machines are able to finish'.
vocabulary
Work on expanding your vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance clarity. Instead of saying 'make us more productive', consider alternatives like 'increase our productivity'.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that present the main argument effectively.
coherence
The essay's points are relevant to the prompt and follow a generally logical structure. The introduction starts with a general statement and the conclusion summarizes the main points well.
task response
You have addressed the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of using machines for home tasks, making a clear stand that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
cohesion
You used connecting words like 'furthermore', 'moreover,' and 'however' to logically link between ideas and points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.