Developing countries require help offered by international organization to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aids is important. Other believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give youw own opinion.

International
Add an article
The international
show examples
organization
aids
Correct subject-verb agreement
aid
show examples
it's crucial for countries that
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
help here I will discuss two different
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial support can help
this countries
Change the determiner
this country
these countries
show examples
to
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
and buy medicine,
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
or even goods that people
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
and it's one of the important things if we want to help
this
country and
promoting
Wrong verb form
promote
show examples
the
world union
Correct your spelling
World Union
show examples
concept.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand, people who will say the practical aids and these on
other important aspect
Change the wording
another important aspect
other important aspects
show examples
by bringing expertise in solving the issue
that’s
Unnecessary verb
that
show examples
countries faced. In my opinion,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
concept
Fix the agreement mistake
concepts
show examples
are crucial for
sustainability
Add an article
the sustainability
show examples
of global
union
Fix the agreement mistake
unions
show examples
and
it's depending
Wrong verb form
it depends
show examples
on
what's
Unnecessary verb
what
show examples
they
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
.
Submitted by a.junini7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay needs a more structured introduction and conclusion. Starting with a proper thesis statement can help clearly state the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay should use paragraphs to separate different ideas and ensure a logical flow. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the paragraph's main idea.
task achievement
To fully address the task, try to provide more detailed examples and explanations for both views. This will show that you understand both sides and can support your arguments effectively.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your personal opinion and how both types of aid can be combined for the best results. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay attempts to cover both views on the issue, which shows an understanding of the prompt.
task achievement
There is a clear statement of the writer’s opinion, which is important for discussing the topic comprehensively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: