There should be laws to control the amount and type of violence shown on television programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#laws #control #amount #type #violence #television #programs

We are free to choose the shows we watch.Laws are not necessary to help in deciding what to watch. I completely agree with

this

statement and will shed more light in the following paragraph.

To begin

with, people should be given freedom in selecting what to watch on TV. And it should not be restricted by

Remove the article

apply

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law enforcement as there

are

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variety

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a variety

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of programs like

serial's

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serial

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movie

Scotland's

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Scotland

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and many

mood

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moods

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, which are available to watch on TV.

Thus

, choosing a program is in the

hand

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hands

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individual

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individuals

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. Various channels shook as different programs at different schedules, providing a number of options for the viewers to watch.

Additionally

with

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apply

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smart technology incorporated

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into

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television sets,

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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gives the facility to lock certain channels from kids.Parents can block

such

dramas which showcase violence or any other type of adult content from the children.

Also

, they can set a pen.Old

password

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passwords

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such

digital applications or channels

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are not meant for children or even for elderly people.

To conclude

, freedom of what to watch is similar to freedom to speech and putting any sort of confinement on it, can lead to various problems like mental stress as watching

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is a leisure activity.

Thus

, it should not be put under

watch

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the watch

show examples

of law.

Submitted by bindiya.gupta01 on Mon Jul 01 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding on your arguments with more specific examples and further details. This will make your essay more compelling and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.

coherence cohesion

Try to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can be done by using linking words and phrases more effectively.

cohesion

Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors as they can distract the reader. For instance, "serial's movie Scotland's" needs correction.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion that answers the question.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic directly with a clear point of view that is maintained throughout.

coherence cohesion

Your structure is generally clear, with distinct paragraphs for each main point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

212 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There should be laws to control the amount and type of violence shown on television programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

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