IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You were recently helped by an employee at the airport, write to the airport manager. In your letter:- - describe the problem - Talk about how you were helped - Suggest how to reward the employee

#employee #airport #manager #reward
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Dear Mr Smith The reason I am writing to you is to inform you of your incredibly professional employer, whose name is Khaleb.
To begin
 with, nothing seemed wrong when I arrived at the airport. I bought my tickets and I was waiting for the plane to arrive. The first problem was when I was not able to buy an energetic drink because the cashier did not believe that I was over 18. That was the time I met the young man. He kindly explained to me about the existing program which shows my passport online. By the way, now I use it almost every day. The other problem was my declined payment for the ticket.
However
, Khaleb knew what to do.
Consequently
, he ran as fast as he could to the ticket manager,
then
 had a brief talk with him and everything turned all right. The main factor is that I had enough time to get on the plane and my trip was not delayed. I am incredibly grateful for his help.
To sum up
, I would like you to make a promotion or an employer benefit for Khaleb. He is so dedicated to his job,
also
 warm-hearted and intelligent. Thank you in advance. I look forward to your reply Kseniia
Submitted by ksrnnn on

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Task Achievement & Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter does an excellent job of describing the situation and how the employee helped, maintaining a clear and logical structure throughout. To strengthen your letter further, consider adding more specific details about the employee's actions and how they impacted your experience positively.
Task Achievement
The tone of your letter is appropriately formal and polite, fitting the context of writing to a manager. For further refinement, review small grammatical errors and ensure that your sentences flow smoothly from one to the next, enhancing readability.
Task Achievement
You clearly described the problem and how Khaleb helped you, making it easy for the reader to understand the situation.
Task Achievement
The suggestion on rewarding the employee is thoughtful and shows appreciation, perfectly rounding off the letter.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your paragraphs are well-structured, ensuring that each idea is clearly communicated and the letter progresses logically.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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