Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when they buy new things; whereas in the past, old things were repaired and used again. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects the phenomenon leads to?

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In today’s world, replacement is common and
did
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does
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not
required
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require
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great
efforts
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effort
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, since
people
Use synonyms
able
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are able
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to buy products
with
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apply
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easily, rather than restore
the
Correct article usage
apply
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things.
This
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essay will try to identify the factors contributing to
this
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and
also
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explain some
effect
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effects
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that may emerge
to
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from
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this
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.
First,
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the development of technology
were
Verb problem
has
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made
people
Use synonyms
crave to use something new.
For instance
Linking Words
, gadgets like mobile
phone
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phones
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were crafted with recent update software.
This
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made
people
Use synonyms
tend to buy the latest product and it is relatively proven to make
people
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leave their old gadgets.
Moreover
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, the effect of buying something new will
triggered
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trigger
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happiness
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the happiness
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hormone within our body, which eventually
people
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eager into it.
Secondly
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, several technology
company
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companies
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were limited
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have limited
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the product
with
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to
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specific usage.
For example
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, the screen on
smartphone
Add an article
a smartphone
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had
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has
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specific life hours and when it
hit
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hits
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the limit, it will automatically shut down.
Furthermore
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, if
people
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try to stay with the old stuff, they will
facing
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face
be facing
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problem
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problems
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with it in the near future.
This
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condition able to
appears
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appear
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suddenly anytime and anywhere, and
also
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will make a burden for several
people
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. It
is believe
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is believed
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if every
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people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
thinks they should move to new things without repair,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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can lead to
produce
Verb problem
apply
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more amount of garbage.
In addition
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, natural resources
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also
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are also
show examples
more
over exploited
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over-exploited
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.
This
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condition
also
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have
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has
show examples
probability
Correct article usage
a probability
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impact
for
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on
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the next generations, since all of
natural
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the natural
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resources
had
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have
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been diminishing and
leave
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left
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nothing for the future.
For instance
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, if someone
tend
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tends
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to buy
new
Add an article
a new
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smartphone,
while
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he already
held
Wrong verb form
holds
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the latest product, it could create more electronic waste. In
this
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condition,
people
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should
to
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apply
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determine wisely of eligibility criteria before
they’re replace
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they replace
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the old goods with something new.
Submitted by dwima.rizky on

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coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, you should aim to make your ideas flow more logically and cohesively. Consider using linking words to create smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and provides a complete response by discussing both causes and effects. However, some of your explanations could be clearer and more elaborated. Be sure to fully develop your points and provide specific, relevant examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure. There are several errors that sometimes make it difficult to understand your ideas. Focus on correct verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and singular/plural forms.
task achievement
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary. Some word choices are repetitive and basic. This will help make your essay more engaging and show a stronger command of the English language.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction successfully sets the stage for the essay and clearly states the issues to be discussed.
task achievement
You have good main points that are relevant to the topic and the task. They are generally supported by examples, which helps illustrate your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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