Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

There is an ongoing debate on animal

extinction

Use synonyms

. The main causes of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon are rising needs and animal hunting, yet hope can be found through government policies’ reformation to encourage people to go vegan. Nowadays, mass-producing

meat

Use synonyms

from chickens and cows is a common topic when it comes to why

animals

Use synonyms

go missing. Needless to say, human' demands are something that

rises

Correct subject-verb agreement

rise

show examples

almost every day as overpopulation is taking place.

As a result

Linking Words

, the desire for food—or

meat

Use synonyms

, to be specific—is

also

Linking Words

rising rapidly, synonymous with more

animals

Use synonyms

getting killed and soon becoming extinct.

For example

Linking Words

, in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, only newborn female chickens are allowed to live so as to lay eggs; their counterparts are ground into fine

meat

Use synonyms

for nuggets and other products.

Thus

Linking Words

, rising demands from humans are one major cause that leads to

extinction

Use synonyms

. Animal hunting is another cause that contributes to the problem. It is undeniable that finding scarce

animals

Use synonyms

or species has been one of the recreational activities for humans, which can be described as interesting and addictive.

This

Linking Words

means people are seeking enjoyment and satisfaction from finding

animals

Use synonyms

that are rare and wanted.

Consequently

Linking Words

, many invade their habitats, which leads

further

Linking Words

to migration to other regions to find a new suitable environment, which requires a significant amount of energy and time. Having found that ideal environment cannot ensure that they are safe from human activities and presence.

Not to mention

Linking Words

, migration can lead to population loss and even

extinction

Use synonyms

if it happens multiple times.

However

Linking Words

, with the efforts of the authorities to set out certain rules,

this

Linking Words

issue can be much less significant. By introducing new policies encouraging more vegetables and less

meat

Use synonyms

eating,

animals

Use synonyms

that are now in mass production can benefit as they will be set free.

Therefore

Linking Words

, no more

animals

Use synonyms

are killed, which means their

extinction

Use synonyms

is prevented.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, less animal hunting as people are losing interest in

meat

Use synonyms

leads to no more unnecessary energy waste.

For example

Linking Words

, Japan has applied the same programme and is finding positive outcomes, as

animals

Use synonyms

do not get scared away by humans and factories are being put out of business as

meat

Use synonyms

is no longer citizens' go-to. In conclusion, the problem of animal

extinction

Use synonyms

is caused by high food demands and scarce animal hunting programmes. By trying to reform rules,

this

Linking Words

problem is arguably less impactful.

muscovytomeaSat May 31 2025

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coherence

Make sure your points are clearly connected and easy to follow.

cohesion

Use transition words to guide the reader through your ideas.

task achievement

Add examples that are more specific to support your main ideas.

content

Your introduction clearly states the main causes of extinction and hints at solutions.

content

You provide a variety of reasons for extinction, showing your understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

396 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

species extinction
endangered animals
biodiversity
habitat loss
deforestation
urbanization
poaching
illegal wildlife trade
climate change
pollution
conservation efforts
legislation
enforcement
human overpopulation
sustainable development
responsible consumption
education
awareness programs
protected areas
wildlife reserves
international cooperation
collaboration

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic What are the advantages and disadvantages for locals who visit such places?

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