Some people think success in life comes from hard work and determination, but others think there are more important factors like money and appearance. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
The question of what determines
success
in life is often debated, with some emphasizing the importance of hard work
and determination
, while
others prioritize factors
like wealth and appearance
. In my opinion, while
external factors
can help with some aspects of success
, internal factors
enable individuals to persevere, keep learning and growing in the face of adversity,
Proponents of the idea that factors
such
as money and appearance
play a crucial role in success
argue that external resources and social perceptions can significantly influence opportunities
and outcomes. Wealth can contribute to success
in all areas of life by providing better education, healthcare, and opportunities
for personal and professional development. Similarly
, physical appearance
, including physical attractiveness and social status, may influence how individuals are perceived and treated, potentially affecting career progression, social relationships and overall
well-being.
However
, supporters who believe that success
comes from hard work
and determination
believe that these qualities are the foundation for overcoming obstacles, achieving goals, and realizing one's personal potential. They stress the importance of perseverance, resilience and a strong work
ethic in tackling challenges and seizing opportunities
. From this
perspective, those who consistently work
for their desires are more likely to achieve meaningful success
regardless of initial setbacks or limitations.
In my opinion, while
external factors
such
as money and appearance
can contribute to certain aspects of success
, they are not definitive determinants of a fulfilling and meaningful life achievement. Hard work
, determination
, and personal qualities like resilience, integrity, and passion play pivotal roles in shaping one's journey towards success
. These intrinsic factors
enable individuals to persevere through adversity, continuously learn and grow, and make significant contributions to their communities and beyond.
In conclusion, While
factors
such
as financial resources and appearance
may significantly affect opportunities
and outcomes, hard work
and determination
lay a solid foundation for success
Nonetheless
, personal fulfillment
and long-term achievement are often rooted in qualities that transcend material wealth and external appearances. Change the spelling
fulfilment
Therefore
, a balanced approach that integrates perseverance with leveraging available resources is likely the most effective path to success
.Submitted by fiasngs on
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task achievement
To improve task response, consider adding more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific scenarios where wealthy individuals have succeeded, or highlight historical figures who have succeeded through hard work and determination.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are consistently well-supported throughout the essay. While you have made a strong argument, incorporating more specific evidence and examples can further strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
While the essay flows well, incorporating a few more transition words and phrases could enhance the coherence and cohesion. For example, using phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Moreover' could make your argumentation more fluid.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states both sides of the argument and provides a clear thesis statement.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured with clear points presented in each paragraph, contributing to the overall logical flow.
coherence cohesion
There are cohesive linking words and structures within and between paragraphs which support the overall coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.