Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however,say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

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It is

inevitable

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inevitably

show examples

true that

health

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is one of the major issues nowadays.Some

people

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believe that if more

sports

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activities

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are provided to the

community

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it will help to improve

people

Use synonyms

health

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and I support

this

Linking Words

view.

However

Linking Words

,some

argues

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argue

show examples

that

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apply

show examples

implementing other methods could lead to more positive

health

Use synonyms

benefits.In

this

Linking Words

essay

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essay,

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I will discuss both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

views and explain why I am

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show examples

favour of the first view. There are many

health

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benefits of being more physical.

Eventhough

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Even though

,recently ,

pacticioners

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practitioners

have changed their mode of treatment.They now focus first on lifestyle and

therefore

Linking Words

advised them to start some sort of physical

excercises

Correct your spelling

exercises

exercise

As a result

Linking Words

,if there are

sports

Use synonyms

fascilities

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facilities

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

availabe

Correct your spelling

available

in the area

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

people

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can take advantage of

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. We can not deny that most

people

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are busy and

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

participate in healthy

activities

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.If any

sports

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events are

organising

Wrong verb form

organised

show examples

in their town

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they can

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

show examples

with them.

This

Linking Words

can motivate them to engage in these

activities

Use synonyms

.For

instances

Fix the agreement mistake

instance

show examples

, arranging local

mathches

Correct your spelling

matches

whether cricket or football etc could

deficitely

Correct your spelling

definitely

admire to

Verb problem

inspire

show examples

individuals to take part in

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

Otherthan

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Other than

this

Linking Words

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

community

Use synonyms

centre

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

providing

sports

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for minimal

cahrges

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charges

with seven days

availabilty

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availability

available

then

Linking Words

there could be

chance

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a chance

show examples

that more

people

Use synonyms

can

paricipate

Correct your spelling

participate

.There should be swimming,football,tennis etc so that

people

Use synonyms

can attract and spend their time in

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

Otherwise

Linking Words

,it is very difficult to keep active in whole day.

However

Linking Words

,there are other ways to be healthy rather than to play any

sports

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.Some

people

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enjoy art

activities

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This

Linking Words

could be any type of

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

.Like music, drama,singing,painting and so on.

This

Linking Words

depends on

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

choices.If someone

enjoying

Wrong verb form

enjoys

show examples

drama,

this

Linking Words

give

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gives

show examples

them

feeling

Add an article

a feeling

the feeling

show examples

of happiness which in turn could make them

stress free

Add a hyphen

stress-free

show examples

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

them to be healthy.It is

vitable

Correct your spelling

vital

to choose

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

how someone can get

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

joy and peace.If

Use synonyms

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

could work on supporting these resources

this

Linking Words

can

put

Verb problem

bring

show examples

good

health

Use synonyms

benifts

Correct your spelling

benefits

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. In conclusion, we can not deny the importance of

health

Use synonyms

and its effects.I advocate

those

Change preposition

for those

show examples

who believe that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

promoting

health

Use synonyms

fasiclities colud

Correct your spelling

facilities could

make any

community

Use synonyms

healthier and

happy

Replace the word

happier

show examples

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some

indiviuals

Correct your spelling

individuals

individual

support other ideas to promote

health

Use synonyms

benefits in the

community

Use synonyms

Submitted by iqbal.kamran on Mon Jul 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

The introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, making it easy to understand the author's position.

task response

The essay addresses both views and provides a balanced discussion.

grammar

There is an attempt to use complex sentences, which is commendable.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
53
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however,say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote areas with natural environments, such as the South Pole. Is this a positive or negative development?

Modern use of communication have reduced the amount of time for people to interact. This has negative impacts on social lives of people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children why mothers go out to work

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.