Nowadays many people believe that children should be taught history in schools, however, others argue that children should learn subjects that are more helpful for modern everyday life. discuss both views and give your opinion

Many
people
around the world care about what their
chldren
Correct your spelling
children
learn in schools. It is
concidered
Correct your spelling
considered
by some that
history
is an
importent
Correct your spelling
important
subject
for
kids
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
who think that schools should keep up with
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
life and teach pupils more
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
things. In my opinion,
hiatory
Correct your spelling
history
is
useless
Correct article usage
a useless
show examples
subject
and will not add anything
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
student life. one the one hand,
history
could be
importent
Correct your spelling
important
to know about
countrise
Replace the word
the country's
show examples
past ,
thiss
Correct your spelling
this
can help
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
icreases
Correct your spelling
increase
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
belonging to their countries .
For example
, when children
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
a bout
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
their
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
show examples
achivment
Correct your spelling
achievements
it will help in
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
increase
their
grattitude
Correct your spelling
gratitude
to live
Change preposition
for living
show examples
in that land and they will try to do
the
Change the word
their
show examples
best in their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
to help deviloping their countries in future.
In addition
,
history
stories could help
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
from bast
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
mistsaks
Correct your spelling
mistakes
mistake
for example
,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
many inventors has been stolen
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
they
trust
Wrong verb form
trusted
show examples
the wrong
people
. For
thats
Correct your spelling
that
resons
Correct your spelling
reasons
some
people
think learning
history
is
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
.
on the other hand
,
focasing
Correct your spelling
focusing
on
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
supject
Correct your spelling
subject
subjects
such
as
programmimg
Correct your spelling
programming
and
enviromentel engneering
Correct your spelling
environmental engineering
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
early age could put pupils one step
a head
Correct your spelling
ahead
show examples
of those who do not .
In addition
, It will help
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
to
proden
Correct your spelling
broaden
their horizons and know what
watting
Correct your spelling
waiting
for them
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
For example
, they will have more time to improve
thire
Correct your spelling
their
skills in
spicific
Correct your spelling
specific
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
and put all their energy
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
samething
Correct your spelling
something
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
show examples
help them when they grow up and
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
for a job . Meanwhile ,
kids
must be taught
sooft
Correct your spelling
soft
skills and
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
in
schoole
Correct your spelling
school
schools
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
will help them to improve their
personailty
Correct your spelling
personality
.
That is
why many
people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that school should
chang
Correct your spelling
change
show examples
the old
regulare
Correct your spelling
regular
subject
. In the end, some
people
think
schoole
Correct your spelling
schools
school
should change their regular
subject
and
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
focuses
focused
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
new
geniration
Correct your spelling
generation
needed .
For me
Change preposition
Me
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
a gree
Correct your spelling
agree
show examples
that
history
and
old
Add an article
the old
show examples
system will not help
kids
, they should add new
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
such
as business
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
will help
kids
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the future.
Submitted by ananan2780 on

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task achievement
Work on improving spelling and grammar to enhance overall clarity. Consider using spellcheck tools or having a peer review your essay.
task achievement
Develop and elaborate on main points more thoroughly to strengthen the argument. More specific examples and detailed analysis will help.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and uses transitions effectively to improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Review and improve sentence structure to avoid awkward phrasing and enhance readability. Reading your essay out loud can help identify areas for improvement.
task achievement
The writer presents both sides of the argument which is the requirement of the prompt.
task achievement
Use of examples to illustrate points is effective.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, ensuring a complete essay structure.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphs are used to separate different ideas, which helps with the essay’s coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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