IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think news has no connection to the people lives. So it is a waste of time to read the news in newspaper and watch television news program. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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These days, technology is developing; so that, you can read, listen, and watch the
news
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, yet some people have various ideas about
news
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, and in their opinion
news
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 does not involve people's lives. In fact, spending
time
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 in newspapers and watching television
news
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 programs are waste of
time
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. I broadly agree with
this
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 idea because reading or listening to political
news
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 does not have any effect on our lives, but crime, whether things can help us to change some situations. On the one hand, some
news
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such
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 as crime rate or things that are related to the Earth can help us to avoid some bad evidence.
For instance
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, when we know about the offence in our districts,
then
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 we add some protection devices for our home;
moreover
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, we carry some tools with us, or we alter our house to a safe area.
In addition
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,
news
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 about the weather, earthquakes, and volcanoes help us to change our situation. To illustrate, when we know that tomorrow we are going to have a rainy day, we are carrying a waterproof coat or umbrella.
Also
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, when we have knowledge about the
time
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 of the earthquake we leave dangerous regions.
On the other hand
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, we can feel the political alternative;
hence
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, we do not listen to or read
news
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 about it;
besides
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, these works are real examples of wasting
time
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.
For instance
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, When the dollar price in my country grew ;
then
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 the cost of every piece of equipment increased, and I understood what happened;
thus
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, when I listen to the
news
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 it is not different from when I do not know the
news
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. In conclusion, for some reasons which I present it. In my view the
news
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 that can help us to improve our lives is good;
however
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, other
news
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 which can sense them do not know about them.

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coherence cohesion
Consider refining your introduction. Mention briefly the key points you will be discussing. This will give readers a better roadmap of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, making your argument clearer.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You provided a clear position in your essay, stating that you broadly agree with the idea that news can sometimes be a waste of time.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a logical conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sensationalized
  • biased
  • misinformation
  • alternative sources
  • public opinion
  • awareness
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • information overload
  • shaping
  • productive activities
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