An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops.What are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping center rather than smaller, more traditional shops? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Nowadays a lot of people put more focus towards their job than their families.
That is
why somebody decides to move away from their relatives and friends to fully focus on the career they
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
.
This
results in both advantages and disadvantages which will be discussed
further
. On the one hand,
this
is not a new thing to talk about. People have been travelling to different places to hire for a job which would usually provide with better salary, conditions and so on. In some cases, they would be away from their
beloved
Correct your spelling
loved
show examples
ones. It may cause
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
depression or a miserable state of mind in general.
However
, workaholics still do not consider
this
as a threat to their career goals. Another negative aspect is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
feeling of being alone
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
show examples
people travel to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
places which they are not familiar with. It can lead to getting lost in the city routine. It will be a problem with a difficult solution if they do not have any of their friends around.
On the other hand
,
persuing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
show examples
a career path can provide with all the things needed.
That is
why somebody applies for a job to earn enough money to keep both their friends and relatives in comfort.
Moreover
, moving away from them can relocate all the priorities towards working hard. Everyone wants to provide their families with the best things.
To sum up
all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
this
question can not be answered
immidiately
Correct your spelling
immediately
due to
uncertanty
Correct your spelling
uncertainty
in the response. Whichever option is
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
by a person, he should squeeze everything out of it.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Examples strengthen your arguments and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structuring of your paragraphs and ideas. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single point and that ideas flow smoothly between them.
task achievement
Be vigilant about minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as they can impact readability. Proofread your work thoroughly before submission.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your conclusion to provide a more definitive stance or summarization of your points. A strong conclusion leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good framework for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, demonstrating a balanced perspective on the issue.
coherence cohesion
You have used relevant transitions to move between points, aiding the flow of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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