IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
#information #railway #systems #six #cities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart below illustrates different
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 about the underground rail networks in six large cities.
It is clear that
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
London, Paris and Tokyo which are
oldest
Correct article usage
the oldest
show examples
 cities see the highest number of
traveller
Fix the agreement mistake
travellers
show examples
with
Change preposition
over
show examples
 larger
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
. In detail, London is the oldest city which opened in 1863 and
also
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the
larger
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
 number of
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of route with 775 passengers per year.
In addition
Linking Words
, the second oldest city with 199
kilimetres
Correct your spelling
kilimetre
 route is Paris
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was opened in 1900 with 1191
Use synonyms
millions traveller
Fix the agreement mistake
million travellers
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, Los Angeles
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the newest system
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the underground railway was opened in 2001 with the smallest route only 28
kilometres
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 50
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
passengers per year. The number of travellers in Tokyo which was opened in 1927 with 155
kilometres
Use synonyms
 distance is 1927
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 per year.
Whereas
Linking Words
, Kyoto only have 45
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 passengers with only 11
kilometres
Use synonyms
way
Correct your spelling
away
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was opened in 1981.
Also
Linking Words
, Washington DC is another city which assigns 144
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 commuters with 126
kilometrs
Correct your spelling
kilometres
kilometre
 road that was opened in 1976.
Submitted by www.marzieh.eidi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words kilometres, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: