IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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With the advent of globalization, it is really easy to visit international places for the purpose of leisure. It comes with a plethora of upsides and a few downsides which will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay. I believe that advantages are overwhelmingly larger than disadvantages. On the one hand,
tourism
Use synonyms
 helps people to discover uncharted territories and experience new cultures. The reason why
this
Linking Words
 helps the host communities is the economic benefit and the cultural exchange that results in
this
Linking Words
 process. The native people who are
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on the income from
tourism
Use synonyms
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
show examples
their
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
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 if more travellers explore their land. The visitors get to see the picturesque locations and some of the new customs of that place they could
further
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 apply in their lives to improve their lifestyle.
For example
Linking Words
, many people visit the Japanese villages to find out the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
longetivity
Correct your spelling
longevity
 of these communities. They try to follow the principles they learn from
this
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 experience and some write books about
such
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 norms to aware
others
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some complain that tourists never care about the
maintainance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 of the monuments they visit especially
that
Correct pronoun usage
those that
show examples
 are too ancient. There are some
traditionlists
Correct your spelling
traditionalists
 who do not want their historic buildings to get tarnished with excessive exposure to strain caused by visitors. For that reason they expect the authorities to ban visits to
such
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 marvels. To exemplify, there are many remains of the bygone eras which are prohibited
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 exploration of any kind
due to
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 the risks of their degradation. In conclusion, it is really crucial to care about the past monuments but these are not as much impacting the
overall
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 upsides of
tourism
Use synonyms
.
Tourism
Use synonyms
 not only helps the hosts to sustain their lives but
also
Linking Words
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
relief to visitors who feel novelty when they witness something different during their trip. Ergo, travelling across the world is an
overall
Linking Words
 positive development.

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relevant specific examples
To achieve a higher band score, broaden the range of your relevant specific examples. Make sure examples are precise and clearly illustrate the point you are making.
logical structure
Strengthen the coherence of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next. Using cohesive devices like connectors will help create a more unified essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on adding more comprehensive ideas to your essay. Go deeper into the discussion, offering more nuanced insights or addressing potential counterarguments in greater detail.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is succinct, well written, and clearly presents your viewpoint on the topic.
complete response
You have effectively addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced approach.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents ideas in a clear manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • boost local economies
  • cultural exchange
  • mutual understanding
  • environmental degradation
  • deforestation
  • overcrowding
  • commodification
  • authentic cultural experiences
  • revenue
  • perspective
  • globalization
  • sustainable tourism
  • heritage sites
  • local customs
  • appreciation of diversity
What to do next:
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