You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he /she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: - Say why he/she would not enjoy going to college. - Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her. - Suggest types of jobs that would be suitable for him/her.

Dear John, Hope you're doing fine. I'm writing
this
letter to you to share my opinion
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
to go to
college
or to try to get a
job
. My suggestion to you would be
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
a
job
at the moment rather than
joining
Wrong verb form
join
show examples
a
collegeto
Correct your spelling
college to
do your Masters in Logistics & Supply chain Management.
Firstly
, you would not enjoy going to
college
now especially considering your age. Most students who would be
along with
you are going to be much younger and will treat
like
Correct pronoun usage
you like
show examples
a senior citizen and maybe even
reluctant
Add a missing verb
be reluctant
show examples
to be friends with you. Without any
job
experience
Add a comma
experience,
show examples
you would not be able to understand most of the topics discussed in the class. Attending a
Masters
Change noun form
Masters's
Master's
show examples
course in Logistics & Supply Chain will
be
Verb problem
help me
show examples
along with
other professionals who would
be having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
good experience in the same field.
Moreover
, by getting a
job
first you have the opportunity to make some money before you join
college
without depending on your parents for any funds. I would suggest you get a
job
in the same field you're planning to do the course, so maybe start
of
Change preposition
off
show examples
as
Correct article usage
a Logsitcs
show examples
Logsitcs
Correct your spelling
Logistics
coordinator, Supply chain specialist or
excutive
Correct your spelling
executive
.
This
will help you get a better experience within the industry and help you get a better understanding when topics are discussed in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
class when
join
Change the verb form
joining
show examples
a
college
. Hope my
advise
Replace the word
advice
show examples
helps and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any more questions. Best Regards, Vipin Abraham
Submitted by keerthy9209 on

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Grammar and Spelling
Try to proofread your writing to correct minor errors like missing spaces ('collegeto' should be 'college to') and typos ('Logsitcs' should be 'Logistics').
Task Achievement
Consider elaborating more on why job experience would make understanding class topics easier. This can strengthen your argument.
Structure
The letter has a clear structure with a greeting, body paragraphs addressing the main points, and a closing.
Task Achievement
You provided specific reasons for your advice, which makes your argument convincing.
Tone
The tone is friendly and suitable for a letter to a friend.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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