You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he /she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: - Say why he/she would not enjoy going to college. - Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her. - Suggest types of jobs that would be suitable for him/her.

#friend #advice #college #job #idea #jobs

Dear John, Hope you're doing fine. I'm writing

this

letter to you to share my opinion

whether

Change preposition

on whether

show examples

to go to

college

or to try to get a

job

. My suggestion to you would be

get

Fix the infinitive

to get

show examples

job

at the moment rather than

joining

Wrong verb form

join

show examples

collegeto

Correct your spelling

college to

do your Masters in Logistics & Supply chain Management.

Firstly

, you would not enjoy going to

college

now especially considering your age. Most students who would be

along with

you are going to be much younger and will treat

Correct pronoun usage

you like

show examples

a senior citizen and maybe even

reluctant

Add a missing verb

be reluctant

show examples

to be friends with you. Without any

job

experience

Add a comma

experience,

show examples

you would not be able to understand most of the topics discussed in the class. Attending a

Masters

Change noun form

Masters's

Master's

show examples

course in Logistics & Supply Chain will

Verb problem

help me

show examples

along with

other professionals who would

be having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

good experience in the same field.

Moreover

, by getting a

job

first you have the opportunity to make some money before you join

college

without depending on your parents for any funds. I would suggest you get a

job

in the same field you're planning to do the course, so maybe start

Change preposition

off

show examples

Correct article usage

a Logsitcs

show examples

Logsitcs

Correct your spelling

Logistics

coordinator, Supply chain specialist or

excutive

Correct your spelling

executive

This

will help you get a better experience within the industry and help you get a better understanding when topics are discussed in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

class when

join

Change the verb form

joining

show examples

college

. Hope my

advise

Replace the word

advice

show examples

helps and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any more questions. Best Regards, Vipin Abraham

Submitted by keerthy9209 on Mon Jul 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar and Spelling

Try to proofread your writing to correct minor errors like missing spaces ('collegeto' should be 'college to') and typos ('Logsitcs' should be 'Logistics').

Task Achievement

Consider elaborating more on why job experience would make understanding class topics easier. This can strengthen your argument.

Structure

The letter has a clear structure with a greeting, body paragraphs addressing the main points, and a closing.

Task Achievement

You provided specific reasons for your advice, which makes your argument convincing.

Tone

The tone is friendly and suitable for a letter to a friend.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

247 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults .Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
While there is a widely held view among parents that competition should be instilled in children, with regard to the drawbacks of this trend, many people state that cooperation is more important in comparison to competition. In my viewpoint, although competitive behaviours can be useful for students’ future, cooperative habits play a more prominent role in their lives.
<4
band
The plan below show the layout of a university 's sports centre now,and how it will look after redevelopment Simmerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The two diagrams illustrate a present layout of a college's sport center, and the predicted transtormation.
6
band
Many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary product should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that food and drink products contain high levels of sugar can be a debatable subject. While it is a commonly held belief that some individuals think that the cause of many health problems is Sugary product which has high levels of sugar. there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that less sugar in products will decrease the number of diabetics.
6.5
band
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects- Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Education is very important for every student. Although some people argue that in today's world teaching Science and Technology is more useful, Others feel all subjects should be taught with equal importance. I will discuss both sides and show my support for the former.
4.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Over past few decades, individuals trained with professional skills such as medical and engineering are offered with a broad opportunities to work outside their countries, due to the continually-surging need of professional workers. Many believe that those people need to be encouraged to take the offer, while others oppose this view. As for my personal perspective, I believe that every individual should not work overseas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults .Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The plan below show the layout of a university 's sports centre now,and how it will look after redevelopment Simmerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

Many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary product should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?