Some people think that the use of mobiles (cell) phones should be banned in public places such as in libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There are many debates about whether using cell

phones

Use synonyms

in public spaces should be banned or not. I firmly agree with

this

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statement. There are some compelling stances for banning

smartphones

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in public locations.

Initially

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, the usage of mobile

phones

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in public venues could be annoying because

this

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disturbs others who are focusing on their own activities.

For example

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, mobile

phones

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can disrupt the quiet environment essential for studying and reading in libraries.

Besides

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this

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can lead to potential health risks for employees working in professions, especially in public places, which require much attention. Any sudden sound from mobile

phones

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can attract the attention of bus drivers, which can generate traffic accidents and pose serious injuries to the crowd.

Additionally

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, using

phones

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in public spaces to take photos or record videos can infringe on the privacy of others. People might feel uncomfortable if they are unknowingly being filmed or photographed.

For instance

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, many superstars report feeling uncomfortable and harassed by paparazzi. Intrusive media practices can disrupt important personal events,

such

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as dating or special anniversaries, adding unnecessary stress to their lives.

However

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, there are some convincing stances against banning

smartphones

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in public locations. The foremost benefit is the convenience and efficiency of

smartphones

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Smartphones

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can be used for quick payments, finding product information, or using discount apps. Mobile

phones

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are the primary means of staying connected with family and friends disregarding far-flung locations.

Moreover

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, imposing a blanket ban could be seen as an infringement on personal freedom and autonomy.

To conclude

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although

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there are persuasive reasons to ban the use of mobile

phones

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in certain public places

due to

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noise disruption, health risks, and privacy concerns, there are

also

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significant benefits to their use. The convenience, connectivity, and efficiency provided by

smartphones

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cannot be overlooked.

Instead

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of imposing a blanket ban,

this

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can be achieved through public awareness campaigns and designated areas for mobile phone use, ensuring that the advantages of technology are harnessed

while

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minimizing its negative impacts.

lenam2k1Tue Jul 02 2024

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task achievement

In your essay, you presented a well-structured argument addressing both sides of the debate, which is essential for a balanced discussion. However, it would be beneficial to strengthen your arguments by adding more specific data or research evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. To improve further, you could use a wider range of cohesive devices and transitions, which can help in making your argument more fluid and sophisticated.

coherence cohesion

Your essay could be enhanced by introducing slightly more varied sentence structures. Although your sentences are clear and well-constructed, incorporating complex sentences can elevate the overall quality of your writing.

task achievement

You have done an excellent job of introducing your perspective clearly at the beginning and summarizing your argument effectively at the end. Your conclusion is particularly strong as it provides a balanced viewpoint and a practical solution.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments. Each paragraph starts with a strong topic sentence and develops the idea coherently.

task achievement

The examples provided are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively, such as the impact on bus drivers and privacy concerns with paparazzi.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

distraction
concentration
noise pollution
emergencies
individual freedoms
infringe
courteous behavior
regulation
permissible
enforce
disruption
public transport
public spaces
notifications

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Some people think that the use of mobiles (cell) phones should be banned in public places such as in libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Large numbers of people participate in sports that are extremely dangerous. Why do you think people do this? How can the risks of participation be minimised?

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both veiws and give your opinion?

Several cities around the globe subscribed the idea of vertical development for residential buildings, others promtote independent houses in larger areas.

Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?