IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is that happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Advocates argue in favour of the positive trend of international travel,
whereas
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 detractors maintain a contrary perspective. I am of the belief that individuals frequently aspire to pursue
opportunities
Use synonyms
 abroad for purposes related to employment or education, perceiving
such
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 endeavours as advantageous for enhancing their personal circumstances. In the beginning, a segment of the population strives to elevate their quality of life by seeking immigration to a developed nation.
In other words
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, first-world nations offer a plethora of
opportunities
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, spanning both employment and academic pursuits. A prominent illustration of
this
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 phenomenon is Germany, which facilitates both academic pursuits and immigration
opportunities
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.
Therefore
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, travelling to developed countries is no longer merely an option but a necessity for those seeking a prosperous future.
In addition
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, several individuals have been striving to improve their living conditions in their homeland, yet their efforts have been unsuccessful, so if these individuals persist in residing in their countries, where inflation disproportionately affects the majority, they are likely to endure poverty, inadequate healthcare facilities, and substandard education.
This
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 can be exemplified by a portion of Egyptians who, despite having ample potential, cannot secure a thriving job or provide their families with basic needs.
As a result
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, breadwinners have been fleeing these harsh circumstances in pursuit of a higher quality of life. In conclusion, based on the discussed viewpoints, I continue to advocate that both young people and adults are increasingly seeking immigration for job
opportunities
Use synonyms
 and education, viewing it as a positive step towards improving their circumstances.

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task achievement
Work on providing more concrete examples and explanations to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure a seamless flow from one idea to the next. This can be improved by using more cohesive devices or transition words.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a clear framework for your arguments.
task achievement
You addressed the prompt effectively by discussing reasons for international travel and its positive impact.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancements in transportation
  • Cultural curiosity
  • Economic reasons
  • Globalization
  • Educational opportunities
  • Digital nomadism
  • Healthcare tourism
  • Tourism industry growth
  • Personal development
  • Interconnectedness
  • Higher living standards
  • Remote work
  • Broaden their horizons
  • Affordable travel
  • Medical treatments
  • Global perspective
  • Air travel options
  • Cuisines
  • Lifestyles
  • Job opportunities
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