IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words

#countries #money #poverty #aid
The stability of a nation's financial status directly influences its
development
. It is evident that many wealthy
countries
 recently have been willing to support poorer nations by donating money to reduce their economic disparities. I totally agree with the notion that, despite financial aid, economically unstable
countries
 can be aided in more sustainable ways, as discussed in the following essay. First and foremost, educating the younger generation in a society is paramount for
development
. The future of a poor country that cannot afford high educational expenditures may be bleak.
Therefore
, organizations aimed at assisting the poor should target students to ensure their educational prosperity.
For example
, well-recognized entities like UNESCO, World Vision, and JICA have implemented numerous action plans to help South Asian schools by providing physical facilities like materials, laboratories, and modern teaching and learning strategies.
On the other hand
, eradicating poverty requires proper planning and the introduction of the latest technologies to create new earning methodologies, thereby increasing a country's income and financial reserves.
Hence
, developed
countries
 could encourage leaders to establish robust economies by providing ample guidance and support.
For instance
,
countries
 like Singapore, Bali, and Thailand help
neighboring
Change the spelling
neighbouring
show examples
 poor
countries
 by sharing the techniques they
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 in their
development
 pathways.
In contrast
, some assert that citizens expect basic necessities, which can be addressed through frequent international funds.
However
, relying solely on short-term financial aid is not a viable long-term solution.
To conclude
, receiving financial aid from rich
countries
 can offer a temporary solution for poor nations.
However
, other forms of assistance,
such
 as education and technological support, should be provided to stabilize finances by addressing pivotal aspects of
development
.
Submitted by oriexam6 on

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task achievement
Expanding on the examples or providing more specific case studies would strengthen the points made.
general
Proofread for minor grammar and punctuation errors to enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing both financial aid and other types of assistance.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, making it easy to follow the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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