Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used to make money from tourists. Others believe that this is the only way for some places to survive in today's world. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.

#people #traditions #money #tourists #places #world

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In modern society, there is a growing number of people travelling all around the world. Some people may have claimed that cultural

traditions

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can be affected by only focusing on tourists' preferences.

This

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is true;

however

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, I

also

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understand that some

countries

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can maintain their country finances by

tourism

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Firstly

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, some cities are extremely geared to attracting foreign tourists to make money.

This

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is because foreign travellers are likely to experience various exotic things, showing them stimulated travel

programs

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that might be able to harm cultural

traditions

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For example

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, in Korea, we have

programs

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that experience wearing HanBok which is Korean traditional clothes. What I am concerned about is that since those clothes are reformed to attract foreigners, I think travellers might be able to misunderstand our

traditions

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Therefore

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, I believe that if we concentrate too much on profits, we will be able to lose our cultural identity.

On the other hand

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tourism

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is imperative for some

countries

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which is the main profit for them. The

tourism

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industry has made lucrative finances for some

countries

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, and it seems effective at improving national economies.

For instance

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, Boracay is one of the cities that has been maintained by excursion

programs

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. People living in Boracay only work as tour guides because

this

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is the only way to earn money for them. In

this

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case, I think

tourism

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allows cities to improve employment and economic revitalisation.

Moreover

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, if

countries

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don't develop the industry of

tourism

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, they might be able to miss the national trade and lose opportunities to inform traditional cultures. I believe

this

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will contribute to adverse effects on society in the long run.

To sum up

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, as compared above, tourists can affect not only cultural

traditions

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but

also

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countries

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' economies.

However

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, as a person who puts more value on protecting precious

traditions

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, I believe remaining original

traditions

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is more imperative than attractive tour

programs

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. I think we should develop our traditional sites so as not to be destroyed.

Submitted by kchengii on Thu May 16 2024

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task achievement

Clarify some points in your arguments and examples to enhance clarity. For example, elaborate on how the HanBok program misrepresents traditions.

task achievement

Work on providing more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will strengthen the overall argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that every paragraph flows smoothly to the next with appropriate linking words or phrases, to improve coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Focus on a balance between complex and compound sentence structures to maintain reader engagement.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of both sides of the argument, discussing the potential negative impact on cultural traditions and the economic benefits of tourism.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly stating the thesis and summarizing the main points.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used to make money from tourists. Others believe that this is the only way for some places to survive in today's world. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.

some people think that the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays parents give more freedom to their children than in the past. is it a positive or negative development. Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

Some people say that traveling to a country is necessary if one want s to become familiar with a new culture. Others, however, feel that technology gives us enough tools to make travel unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?