Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used to make money from tourists. Others believe that this is the only way for some places to survive in today's world. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.

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In modern society, there is a growing number of people travelling all around the world. Some people may have claimed that cultural

traditions

Use synonyms

can be affected by only focusing on tourists' preferences.

This

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is true;

however

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, I

also

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understand that some

countries

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can maintain their country finances by

tourism

Use synonyms

Firstly

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, some cities are extremely geared to attracting foreign tourists to make money.

This

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is because foreign travellers are likely to experience various exotic things, showing them stimulated travel

programs

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that might be able to harm cultural

traditions

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For example

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, in Korea, we have

programs

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that experience wearing HanBok which is Korean traditional clothes. What I am concerned about is that since those clothes are reformed to attract foreigners, I think travellers might be able to misunderstand our

traditions

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Therefore

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, I believe that if we concentrate too much on profits, we will be able to lose our cultural identity.

On the other hand

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tourism

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is imperative for some

countries

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which is the main profit for them. The

tourism

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industry has made lucrative finances for some

countries

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, and it seems effective at improving national economies.

For instance

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, Boracay is one of the cities that has been maintained by excursion

programs

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. People living in Boracay only work as tour guides because

this

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is the only way to earn money for them. In

this

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case, I think

tourism

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allows cities to improve employment and economic revitalisation.

Moreover

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, if

countries

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don't develop the industry of

tourism

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, they might be able to miss the national trade and lose opportunities to inform traditional cultures. I believe

this

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will contribute to adverse effects on society in the long run.

To sum up

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, as compared above, tourists can affect not only cultural

traditions

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but

also

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countries

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' economies.

However

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, as a person who puts more value on protecting precious

traditions

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, I believe remaining original

traditions

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is more imperative than attractive tour

programs

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. I think we should develop our traditional sites so as not to be destroyed.

kchengiiThu May 16 2024

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task achievement

Clarify some points in your arguments and examples to enhance clarity. For example, elaborate on how the HanBok program misrepresents traditions.

task achievement

Work on providing more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will strengthen the overall argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that every paragraph flows smoothly to the next with appropriate linking words or phrases, to improve coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Focus on a balance between complex and compound sentence structures to maintain reader engagement.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of both sides of the argument, discussing the potential negative impact on cultural traditions and the economic benefits of tourism.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly stating the thesis and summarizing the main points.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural integrity
commercialization
commodification
authenticity
tourist-friendly versions
original meaning
context
extinction
global appreciation
global connectedness
economically disadvantaged regions

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Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used to make money from tourists. Others believe that this is the only way for some places to survive in today's world. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some people believe that children should do sports so that they will grow up as healthy adults, but others feel sports are just about enjoying yourself. Discuss these both views and give your own opinion.

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas？

Some believe governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways, while some think money should be spent improving public transportation, such as buses, trains, and subways. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or government? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience