The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harm to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
I
uterly
disagree with the claim that the major attention of Correct your spelling
utterly
news
nowadays is a harmful action to the society
. The following would explain the two main reasons detailedly.
First of all, the focus of
the terrible side of Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
is nessecery
for Correct your spelling
necessary
public
to be alert to the problems Add an article
the public
Correct pronoun usage
that existed
existed
and create a better Wrong verb form
exist
society
in the future. Immediate news
are
important to alter the public about the Change the verb form
is
dangerous
of different cases, Replace the word
dangers
such
as scamming, raping, stealing
. The citizens can Correct word choice
and stealing
therefore
avoid falling into the trap of crimer
by receiving useful information from the negative Correct your spelling
crime
crimes
news
. Moreover
, the
Correct article usage
apply
society
is never an
utopia, people should face Change the article
a
the
reality and try to avoid the Correct article usage
apply
repeition
of Correct your spelling
repetition
same
cases in the future by being more careful Correct article usage
the same
to
Change preposition
about
the
crime or Correct article usage
apply
the
natural hazards, Correct article usage
apply
such
as flooding, volcano eruption, etc.
Futhermore
, putting more attention on problems could serve as a deterrent to the would-be offenders. It is patently obvious that if the Correct your spelling
Furthermore
news
posted the poor ending of the crimer
who Correct your spelling
crime
crimes
get
caught, it could be Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
an
alert to the would-be Change the article
apply
crimer
because they would not want to have the same endingCorrect your spelling
crime
crimes
them
, like going to jail or broke. Correct pronoun usage
apply
In addition
, they could understand the side effect
of having Fix the agreement mistake
effects
crime
, Correct article usage
a crime
for example
, their family would be desperated
, their friends and Correct your spelling
desperate
separated
partner
would Fix the agreement mistake
partners
left
them alone, not Change the verb form
leave
able
to have freedom. The Add a missing verb
be able
news
play
a vital role Change the verb form
plays
for
alerting the would-be offenders and helping Change preposition
in
their
out of the bad idea of doing crime.
To summarise, the tendency of the Correct pronoun usage
them
problemmatic
side of Correct your spelling
problematic
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
could act as an alert to the public and deterrent
to the offenders, which can lead Correct article usage
a deterrent
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
to be more harmonious and comfortable.Submitted by asllchkied on
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task achievement
Although your essay presents a clear position, ensure you develop your ideas further. Spend more time elaborating on key points and providing relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing paragraphs to improve coherence. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
language accuracy
Pay attention to language accuracy. Correct minor grammatical errors and improve word choice to enhance readability and precision.
task achievement
Your essay clearly states your position and attempts to justify your stance with relevant arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have made a good effort to provide clear introductory and concluding paragraphs, which help frame the overall essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite