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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In recent times, many people have focused on the negative effects advertising has on children’s health, behaviour and family relationships. Advertising to children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, different kinds of individuals argue that advertisements have a bad impact on
kids
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, especially on their health , behaviour and relationships with their parents and their whole family.
Moreover
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, these might be stopped from publishing in front of
kids
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 through different channels and media using kinds of restrictions. I completely agree that advertisements should be banned from
children
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due to
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 two reasons that I have explained in
this
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 essay. The crucial reason is that publications have uncontrolled and unmonitored content that could affect
kids
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.
In other words
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, some firms, which produce energetic soda drinks, present through their publications how humans will feel more energetic like they are flying
while
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 they are drinking
this
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 kind of soda.
For instance
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, there was a promotion of a Redbull drink that was published on television
last
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 year.
Whereas
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,
this
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 announcement showed an actor who was flying freely after drinking a Redbull soda.
As a result
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, various
kids
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 followed and imitated them which caused different health injuries between
children
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. The second significant cause is that other announcements show videos of new products that put a lot of pressure on their families . For more explanations, these represent newly expensive items of
games
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 and video
games
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 that attract offspring to convince their parents to buy these
games
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.
For example
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 ,
while
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children
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 are watching a cartoon channel on TV , it shows different promotions of
games
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 that cost an arm and a leg which will put pressure on their parents who are facing financial challenges.
That is
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 why important to deprive
children
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 of seeing advertisements. In conclusion, I strongly believe that publications affect negatively
kids
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' behaviour and their bonds with their families.
This
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 is because of the unmonitored content of these promotions that are published
as well as
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 the highly expensive products that put high pressure on their fathers and mothers.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your argument progresses logically, with clear connections between your main points. The structure must guide the reader through your discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should clearly state your position on the topic and summarize the main points without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Support each main idea with concrete examples and well-developed explanations to strengthen your argument. Avoid vague references.
task achievement
Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the task by developing a clear position throughout the response. Address the prompt fully, making sure each point contributes to your overall argument.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas with precise arguments and develop them comprehensively, ensuring they align with the central topic. Each paragraph should serve a purpose in your overall discussion.
task achievement
Use specific examples that are directly relevant to your argument and the topic. Avoid general statements that do not support your point effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • vulnerability
  • critical thinking
  • childhood obesity
  • materialistic
  • consumerism
  • conflict
  • regulations
  • ethical marketing
  • media literacy
  • unrealistic standards
  • body image
  • parental controls
  • freedom of speech
  • purchasing decisions
  • advertising content
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