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Many people nowadays spend a large part of their time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #part #time #smartphone #development
It is quite common to see individuals entertaining themselves with the help of technology in the society we live in today. Active people might turn to electronics to find some peace of mind which they lack in their daily routines
while
 the inactive ones look for a transition from all the work to the content that sparks their interests. The number of individuals who work in offices or have slothful jobs is on
a
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constant growth,
this
 may generate a habit of laziness and might put an end to the need
of
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for
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 physical exercise leading to the overuse of phones.
For instance
, many people would prefer watching a movie or reading an article after a long shift than going
of
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on
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 a hike or playing football.
In contrast
,
the
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mankind was made to be active and some of us cannot close an eye if
they
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we
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 do not get that energy out one way or another
therefore
 being active is a must. It is true to say that utilizing electronic devices during leisure time is both
economic
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economical
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 and effective given that you only spend a couple of seconds on finding any piece of information, news and so on. Despite what has been said, the abuse of media has been the reason for numerous health problems among
the
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smartphone users, causing them to slowly ‘turn into vegetables’ as doctors call
this
 process. In conclusion, I believe that the development of electronic use can be seen as a positive one as long as humans take the consequences in
a
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serious
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seriously
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 matter and do not overdo it.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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coherence cohesion
To improve clarity and coherence, work on your transitions between paragraphs. Using clear transition words and phrases will help the reader follow your argument more smoothly.
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Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to back up your points. This will make your essay more convincing and detailed.
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Make sure to expand on your points to ensure they are fully developed. Sometimes your ideas remain a bit superficial and need more depth.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear context for the topic and makes the essay's focus straightforward to follow.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion nicely sums up your views and reiterates the main points, which is effective in leaving a lasting impression.
task achievement
The response fully addresses the task and shows a clear understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • digital addiction
  • instant gratification
  • multifunctional
  • connectivity
  • social networking
  • online services
  • self-expression
  • entertainment options
  • instant access
  • educational resources
  • communication tools
  • virtual interactions
  • distracted living
  • technological dependence
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