IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The internet has changed the way information is consumed and shared among people. What are some serious issues a person can face associated with the internet, and what solutions can be implemented?

#internet #information #people #person #face
The great growth in
Internet
 usage has led to radical changes in the way people consume and share information.The main
problem
this
 causes is misinformation and the most viable solution is tight control. The principal
problem
 associated with excessive use of the
Internet
 is spreading disinformation. In the modern world, every user has at least once encountered the fact that he was provided with incorrect information on social networks. Many
media
 outlets specifically publish fictional
report
Fix the agreement mistake
reports
show examples
 in order to gain popularity and earn money. Many people are attracted to
this
news
, especially the elderly, because
this
media
 inspires faith.
For instance
, there is
news
 that the end of the world or the complete transformation of our world will happen on December 21, 2012. A lot of people believed it and started to panic.
However
, it was another fake
news
. To tackle
this
problem
 government should take over
this
 situation to minimize the effect of these issues as they are indeed global. It
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be good if they remove questionable
media
 and
Correct article usage
the publics
show examples
publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
show examples
 from social
media
.
Furthermore
, the state must confirm every piece of
news
 published on the
Internet
 to show that it is true.
Then
, there will be no problems
such
 as incorrect information. BBS
news
 is a vivid example of
this
 situation. They check every detail of the
news
 and only
then
 publish it on the
Internet
.
To sum up
, the spread of misinformation is a really acute
problem
 of using the
Internet
.
For
this
 reason, the government should solve
this
 issue .
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Ensure all parts of your answer are fully developed with specific details and examples. The essay addresses misinformation but lacks examples for confusion and stress that people face.
grammar vocabulary
Check for grammatical accuracy and lexical resource usage. Some sentences could be clearer, e.g., phrases like 'publics from social media.'
coherence cohesion
Improve logical transitions between ideas. For example, the introduction could link more fluidly to the main points discussed, and the solutions paragraph should be clearly connected to the problems discussed earlier.
introduction conclusion
The introduction gives a clear indication of what the essay is about, and the conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses real-world problems and provides potential solutions, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cybersecurity
  • online anonymity
  • digital literacy
  • social engineering
  • phishing
  • encryption
  • data mining
  • content moderation
  • virtual harassment
  • screen time
  • echo chambers
  • cognitive bias
  • antivirus
  • malware
  • media literacy
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