IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think the money spent on developing technology for space exploration is not justified. However, there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the concurrent arena,
money
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 is the basic need in
life
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. Government spending
money
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 has provoked debate among people. the majority of society argues that space exploration needs
money
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 rather than others
while
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 others oppose it and believe that many other aspects require attention from higher authorities. I would contend that exploring space is more important, and investing in starvation is needed. on the one hand, nowadays many countries perform myriads of missions to space because people are more curious to find
life
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 on another planet.
However
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, with the help of advanced technology scientists will predict any change in environmental conditions. meanwhile, researchers work day and night to know the existence of
life
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 and make a habitable land for human beings if Earth suffers from alarming conditions, which is back up to maintain the
life
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 of humans in the long term.
For example
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, Nasa works on the moon and Mars to find the quality of
life
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.
Consequently
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, now humans can know about black holes, Andromeda galaxy, and stars.
on the other hand
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, many respective aspects need government priority like food, transportation, environmental maintenance, and weapons that help to protect the boundaries.
Additionally
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, huge financial support needs to reinforce the feminine.
For instance
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, 80
percent
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per cent
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 population in Africa faces famine so there is a high death toll.
therefore
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, the higher authorities must pay attention to food quantity.
to sum up
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, for the aforementioned reasons, it is undeniable to spend
money
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 on technology for galaxies visiting. But the government should invest in other aspects as well like starvation and maintain
life
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 on earth by controlling pollution.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some ideas are not fully developed or explained in detail. Expanding on these points can make your argument more convincing.
logical structure
Focus on organizing your ideas logically, ensuring each paragraph flows naturally and includes transition words or phrases.
complete response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and tries to provide a balanced view.
relevant specific examples
The use of specific examples, like NASA's work on the Moon and Mars, strengthens the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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