IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More people now work overseas. What are the reasons why people are doing so? Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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Nowadays, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 choose to
work
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 overseas.
This
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 essay will talk about the reasons for doing so and cover the pros and cons of
such
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trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
.
To begin
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 with, it is essential to understand what motivates
people
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 to
work
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 abroad.
Firstly
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,
renumeration
Correct your spelling
remuneration
show examples
 needs to be taken into account. By
this
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, the
opportunuty
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to be earning more than in their home country could be a good enough reason for
people
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 to decide to
work
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 overseas.
Secondly
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, the
perpective
Correct your spelling
perspective
 of getting the
unvaluable experince
Correct your spelling
valuable experience
 of living and working abroad might be a strong motivation for some individuals to decide to start their career somewhere else.
For example
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, by moving to a different country, not only could
people
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 earn more, but
also
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 they could see the world, extend their horizons, and start thinking outside of the box. The trend of
people
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 working overseas has both advantages and
disadvanages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.
While
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 leaving the home country can be challenging and risky, it,
undoubtably
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
show examples
, is a great decision to be proud of. By
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this
Add a comma
this,
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 I mean that, regardless of the potential negative sides like homesickness, inability to communicate
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
mothertongue
Correct your spelling
mother
, and cultural differences, the pros of
such
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decision
Correct article usage
a decision
show examples
overweight
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outweigh
show examples
.
Correct article usage
the.
show examples
 To mention a few, the opportunity to
work
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 overseas usually brings monetary benefits, new connections and friendships, and increased self-esteem, as
people
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 learn how to navigate through unfamiliar circumstances.
To sum up
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, the current trend of
people
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 working overseas is backed up by
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
several reasons, including money and the potential to grow as a person.
This
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 essay has discussed the advantages and disadvantages and came up to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 conclusion that
such
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experinece
Correct your spelling
experience
 would usually benefit
people
Use synonyms
.

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and sets the stage for your discussion. However, you could add a bit more context to the essay topic to make it more engaging.
supported main points
Some paragraphs can be further elaborated with more examples, statistics, or anecdotes. This would make your essay more persuasive and engaging.
clear comprehensive ideas
There are a few spelling and grammar mistakes. For example, 'renumeration' should be 'remuneration,' 'opportunity' is misspelled as 'opportunuty,' and 'unvaluable' should be 'invaluable.' These small errors can be distracting.
logical structure
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear progression from introduction to conclusion. This makes the essay easy to follow.
introduction conclusion present
You have a well-defined introduction and a strong conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
supported main points
Your main points are clear and well-supported, though additional examples could strengthen your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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