IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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The sweet
necter
Correct your spelling
nectar
 of science revolutionized and significantly increased the amount of
food
Use synonyms
 we can produce, it has not been able to guarantee
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universal
food
Use synonyms
 security
nevertheless
Linking Words
. Socio-political instability and our irresponsible behaviour are the reasons
among
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will talk about these reasons and propose some solutions to
this
Linking Words
 problem. Increasing tension
as well as
Linking Words
 conflicts between
countries
Use synonyms
 are the main reason for
world
Use synonyms
 hunger. The amount of
food
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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harvested each year around the
world
Use synonyms
 is sufficient enough to feed every hungry mouth,
however
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 many ongoing wars
these
Change the determiner
this food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 can not be transported to them. In some instances, opposing warlord imposes many blockades that result in starvation of the population in order to incite them to overthrow their rulers.
For example
Linking Words
, the ongoing conflict between Israel and Palestine has resulted in general starvation among
Palestine
Replace the word
Palestinian
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 people
due to
Linking Words
 the blockades on the border by Israel. Even if the neighbouring
countries
Use synonyms
sending
Wrong verb form
send
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food
Use synonyms
 aid, they are stopped on the other side of the border. The only
wat
Correct your spelling
way
show examples
 to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem,
world
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 leaders
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to come forward and de-escalate any tension between
countries
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. United
Nation
Fix the agreement mistake
Nations
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 has a big role to play as well to act as a neutral third party and solve any dispute through diplomacy. We, the general public are
also
Linking Words
 responsible for
this
Linking Words
 hunger crisis around the
world
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, as we have become a
through
Correct your spelling
throw
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 away society. The amount of
food
Use synonyms
 we waste is staggering.
Food
Use synonyms
 production can not keep up with the demand if we continue to exhibit
this
Linking Words
 type of reckless behaviour, despite
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 agricultural boom.
For instance
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,
according to
Linking Words
 a paper published by
agricultural
Correct article usage
the agricultural
show examples
 department of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Collumbia
Correct your spelling
Columbia
 University, one
month
Change noun form
month's
show examples
 worth of
food
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 thrown away in
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
America
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can provide for every starved child in Africa for a year. Tackling
this
Linking Words
 situation is tricky, as government laws can not
sufficient
Add a missing verb
be sufficient
show examples
 enough to change a person’s behaviour. Educating the general people from
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early age
as well as
Linking Words
continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
reminder
Fix the agreement mistake
reminders
show examples
 from different social institutions and
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 can result in a gradual cultural change, which is the only way to decrease
food
Use synonyms
 wastage.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
world
Use synonyms
 hunger remains a big concern despite many technological inventions in
agricultural
Add an article
the agricultural
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 industry. Because of many disagreements among
countries
Use synonyms
 and
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
 public’s lack of consciousness. I hope
this
Linking Words
 situation will improve in the future.

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coherence cohesion
The essay addresses the task effectively by identifying two key reasons for world hunger and suggesting relevant solutions. However, there are areas that can be improved, such as ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and sentences to improve readability.
task achievement
Work on fixing minor grammatical errors and improving the clarity of your arguments. Phrases such as 'in general starvation' can be rephrased to make the sentence clearer. For example: 'has resulted in widespread starvation.'
introduction
The introduction provides a clear topic and outlines what will be discussed in the essay.
supported main points
Each issue is adequately supported with relevant examples, like the example of food wastage in America.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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