Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the current time,
competition
in many aspects of life has become obviously experienced by people.
However
, some of them believe that competing in many different settings of life, including at work, school, and in daily life can be beneficial, even though others think that cooperation should be encouraged.
Nonetheless
, I would say that I agree with the latter opinion is far superior for some reasons which are set out below. People view that
competition
can push them to work harder in order to beat others
Therefore
, it is common for individuals to be the best performers in many aspects of their lives.
For instance
, workers will consider different strategies to accomplish the company's goals and gain a reward because they want to have a better outcome in their careers, including increasing salaries and obtaining higher positions.
Moreover
, having
competition
will
also
encourage them to have better responsibilities and a working ethic to manage their work.
However
, some people have different views by emphasizing that cooperating will bring them to a better achievement and outcome.
For instance
, in a company project, they can divide the tasks among the member of the team
according to
their responsibilities, expertise, and talent to execute any details of the project.
Consequently
, the result will be more outstanding because by having good teamwork and communication, there are no obstacles that can hinder their progress with less effort in their career. In conclusion, despite the benefit that
competition
may have, I believe that a sense of cooperation will give more reliable results for everyone in their aspects of their lives as they can achieve what they want and get the reward together.
Submitted by kelly on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph fully develops a single main idea with clear and exhaustive supporting details. For instance, discuss both the advantages and potential drawbacks of competition and cooperation.
task achievement
Revise sentences for grammatical accuracy, particularly focusing on ensuring subject-verb agreement and avoiding run-on sentences.
coherence cohesion
Refine transitions between sentences and ideas to strengthen the overall flow and coherence of the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced analysis of competition and cooperation.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, setting the stage and wrapping up the discussion succinctly.
task achievement
Real-life examples, such as workers in a company aiming for a better outcome and team projects, give concrete support to the main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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