Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In today’s world, there is an indisputable hot topic that whether
competition
or cooperation in a range of individual’s life aspects is completely useful. Some people
think that competition
can play a key role in people
’s daily lives while
others believe that the latter opinion is practical. My perspectives can prove the former idea as a true site by expressing the advantages and disadvantages of cooperation.
To commence with, working in a team can give the opportunity to the people
to enhance and develop their activities and gain the achievement including the abilities of success, perfectionist and winner. For example
, there are several international games or matches to force people
to cooperate, move and think together. As a proven example, during world football matches the players have to try together ,
and pass the balls to the next player correctly to increase mental abilities and avoid difficult situations with adroitness to boost creativity.
Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, competition
has the immense benefits of mental and physical activities . The more competition
individuals have the more success they achieve. For instance
, at school pupils want to be top students due to
excessive respect from all the people
around them and the facilities peers do not have. Furthermore
, medium workers know that working harder than top staff can be a successful way to obtain luxurious lifestyles. As a result
, competition
among individuals can improve all aspects of their surroundings. For example
, my neighbour’s son getting bad marks among his friends was quite depressed and decided to study hard and make his teacher and friends surprised by his creative ideas. In fact, in the last
term of the school, he invented the math formula to carry out tasks in an easy way.
To sum up
, in spite of the fact that there are a lot of positive sides to cooperation, I acknowledge that competing against others can develop individual abilities considerably.Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on
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task achievement
Expand on the introduction to present both views more clearly before stating your position. This helps set the stage for your arguments.
task achievement
Try to balance the discussion of both competition and cooperation more equally in body paragraphs. This gives a more comprehensive view of both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to ensure smoother flow between ideas. This enhances readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Focus on clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to make your main idea more specific and understandable.
task achievement
Good use of examples to explain your points. These specific instances help illustrate your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
A clear conclusion that effectively summarizes your position and main points. This provides a strong ending to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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