Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?

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With an ever-increasing concern about the way

children

Use synonyms

are raised, some individuals opine that it is good to give

children

Use synonyms

free will to choose what they want and provide what they ask for.

This

Linking Words

essay,

however

Linking Words

, will provide reasons why I strongly believe

this

Linking Words

approach will bring negative outcomes for

children

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, some argue that accepting their

children

Use synonyms

’s demands and providing for all their needs will yield positive outcomes.

However

Linking Words

, educators have observed that

children

Use synonyms

who do not learn self-regulation and socially acceptable

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

from their parents often lack social norms and values in the classroom.

Moreover

Linking Words

, compared to undisciplined

children

Use synonyms

, those who have been taught discipline show a higher understanding of class rules.

Therefore

Linking Words

, these

children

Use synonyms

benefit significantly from the active implementation of educating discipline and self-regulation. Despite the reasons mentioned above, I firmly contend that

this

Linking Words

trend will ultimately deteriorate society in the long term.

Children

Use synonyms

who are not taught social norms and

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

face more obstacles in developing essential abilities

such

Linking Words

as punctuality and discipline.

This

Linking Words

lack of skills leads to difficulties in employment, where companies require well-organized and punctual employees.

Furthermore

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

who do not learn self-regulation often struggle with understanding social boundaries. Considering all these reasons, parents should be encouraged to teach their

children

Use synonyms

how to regulate themselves and integrate effectively into society. In conclusion, some individuals argue that raising

children

Use synonyms

based on their demands can bring positive outcomes.

Nevertheless

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, I firmly believe that considering the broader issues faced by others is essential to

achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

show examples

more sustainable advantages.

rachael0124Tue Jul 02 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Your essay starts with a clear introduction, but make sure your thesis statement also clearly reflects your stance. Consider stating your position more explicitly.

relevant specific examples

Although you have provided relevant points, use more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could mention studies or real-life instances.

clear comprehensive ideas

Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. For example, discuss how lack of self-regulation can impact other areas of life beyond employment.

complete response

Your essay addresses the task effectively, providing relevant points and counterpoints.

logical structure

You have structured your essay logically, which helps in maintaining the flow of arguments.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

indulgence
overindulgence
leniency
emotional resilience
rejection
entitlement
realistic expectations
self-regulated behavior
egocentric
financial management
professional relationships
collaboratively
criticism
appreciation
value
effort

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Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?

Your opinion

Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages

More and more people are using computer and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspapers on paper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, the sceneries in places all over the world are more and more similar. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of this similarity outweigh the disadvantages?