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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
#information #families #country #income
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The bar chart presents a comparison data of weekly income divided into 8 categories. Generally,
people
Use synonyms
 in 1968 had spent higher than in 2018 on primary necessities
such
Linking Words
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 food, clothing and footwear, personal
goods
Use synonyms
, and fuel and power.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, in 2018,
people
Use synonyms
 tended to spend their money more on leisure activities, housing, and transportation.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, household
goods
Use synonyms
 outcomes were exactly the same both in 1968 and 2018. In the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1968, nourishment had been the most household consumption to pay which recorded 35% of their weekly earnings. Surprisingly,
people
Use synonyms
 in 2018 only spent 17% of their wages to buy food, it had almost a half percentage of degradation. Apparel’s reduction
also
Linking Words
 has experienced the same constraint.
People
Use synonyms
 lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
interest
to buy
Change preposition
in buying
show examples
 clothes or shoes which showed a depreciation from 10% to 5% in 50 years.
Although
Linking Words
 personal
goods
Use synonyms
 had only taken 8% of family wages in 1968, it
also
Linking Words
 has been facing derivation to 4% in 2018. Fuel and power have slightly deflated from 7% to 4% over 50 years. Vacation has been the ultimate cost of
people
Use synonyms
 in 2018, which significantly had been increasing from less than 10% to 22% within the 50-year length of time. Housing payments had
also
Linking Words
 been facing 9% inflation. The
last
Linking Words
, transportation
also
Linking Words
 had an ascension from 8% to 14% of income.
However
Linking Words
, household
goods
Use synonyms
 had surprisingly recorded the same percentage over 50 years, which recorded 8% of family weekly earnings.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, goods with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
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