IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to businessman who own a chain of restaurants, and he suggested that you should contact him about possible job in one of his stores. write a letter to this businessman

Dear Mr. Salih, I am the lady who sat next to you
in
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on
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 the flight from Muscat to Dubai. I would like to apply to one of your branches here in the city as we discussed earlier. I want to apply for the position of head waiter in the Ruwi branch. Aside from the resume that I attached, I would like to point out some relevant
aspect
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aspects
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 regarding my experiences. I worked an uninterrupted three years as head waiter in the
three stars
Correct your spelling
three-star
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 Albustan Hotel. Naturally, in
this
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 job, I dealt with different nationalities and personality types
along with
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 every unimaginable cuisine from local to international. I am a hard worker, punctual, team worker and multi-lingual. I can speak English and Arabic fluently and conversational Spanish. I worked long enough to know what
this
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 job demands. I will do my best to be a positive asset to your organization. I am ready for an interview at any time convenient
with
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to
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 you through the weekdays. I am looking forward to your response. Yours sincerely, Miss Ismail

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include a clear introduction before starting to discuss your experience. This can help the reader understand the purpose of your letter.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear and simple sentences. Try to separate your experience and skills into different parts to improve readability.
task achievement
Add more information about how you can contribute to the restaurant. This would strengthen your application.
positive
Your letter has a polite tone, which is great for job applications.
positive
You provided relevant experience, which is important for the job.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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