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Writing Samples
Band 6

The following table shows the number of people from five European nations living in each other’s countries in 2011.

The following table shows the number of people from five European nations living in each other’s countries in 2011.
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The provided chart gives data on how many people remain in different European countries during 2011. A total of 3298,000 citizens from 5 nations decided to move abroad.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the majority of them chose to live in Germany.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, almost 50% of those who live in Germany, are Italians but less than 10% are from England. Apparently, England is considered another popular choice among Germans, Italians, and Spanish but more demanded by Polish. It is clearly seen that 50% of the outlanders come from Poland.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, British people will prefer to live in Spain, which is a warm province,
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of choosing the cold weather where they come from. Surprisingly, the Spanish population established in a foreign country is the minority.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, more than half
percent
Change the spelling
per cent

The spelling of percent is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 of those who moved have chosen Germany as their home.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, as a trend, it is highlighted Polish community immigrates more in comparison with the Spanish population that do less.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be deduced that the warm weather in Spain, makes it more attractive for other nationalities to settle down there.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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