The Research Studies show that overeating is equal ly harmful to people’s health as smoking. Therefore, the advertisements of certain food products should be banned similar to cigarettes. To what extent you agree?
According to
recent studies excessive eating habits have almost the same detrimental effects on Linking Words
people
's medical conditions as smoking. Use synonyms
Hence
, some Linking Words
people
advocate for the idea that the promotion of certain food Use synonyms
products
through Use synonyms
advertisements
should be prohibited by the government authorities. I completely agree with the given statement, since these regulations might have some positive impacts on individuals' health.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, some regulations should be enacted to deter Linking Words
people
from being exposed to certain ads that promote harmful Use synonyms
products
. Use synonyms
Advertisements
are generally designed to tempt Use synonyms
people
to try their goods regardless of their negative effects on Use synonyms
people
's health conditions. The main incentive of these companies is to earn as much profit as possible. Obviously, they do not pay enough attention to the qualities of the Use synonyms
products
they produce. Use synonyms
Therefore
, imposing rules that make businesses to be cautious of the goods they produce and promote might result in positive outcomes. Linking Words
For example
, authorities might penalize Linking Words
the
ads that only focus on deceiving the audience to purchase their Correct article usage
apply
products
Use synonyms
instead
of showing them their ingredients and possible impacts on health. Linking Words
In addition
, taxing Linking Words
advertisements
for certain Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
such
as cigarettes would demotivate the businesses to promote those Linking Words
products
and reduce the Use synonyms
overall
consumption within society.
Linking Words
Secondly
, banning those Linking Words
advertisements
would encourage other businesses to concentrate on improving their Use synonyms
products
to have more beneficial features to Use synonyms
people
's diets. It would Use synonyms
also
incentivize a few organizations to educate Linking Words
people
about the severe consequences of consuming unhealthy Use synonyms
products
on their immune systems and the possible illnesses they might have down in the line Use synonyms
such
as obesity, diabetes, and other diet-related diseases. Linking Words
For instance
, holding campaigns that familiarize Linking Words
people
with healthy diets and eating habits would result in better outcomes in the long run.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, there are numerous ads that entice Linking Words
people
to develop harmful eating habits and try various Use synonyms
products
that can deteriorate their medical conditions. I am of the opinion that, certain regulations should be prepared and imposed on Use synonyms
advertisements
to protect consumers from the detrimental effects of those Use synonyms
products
.Use synonyms
Submitted by Narmin on
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task achievement
Consider strengthening the examples to provide more concrete evidence. Drawing on specific studies or statistical data can add depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and introduces that idea clearly at the beginning. This will enhance the overall flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on expanding your conclusion slightly to reiterate the main points discussed in the essay. This will provide a stronger sense of closure.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the task and presents a logical argument with a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
There is a well-defined introduction and conclusion which frames the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
Good use of linking phrases, such as 'Firstly' and 'Secondly,' to organize ideas and maintain flow.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?