The Research Studies show that overeating is equal ly harmful to people’s health as smoking. Therefore, the advertisements of certain food products should be banned similar to cigarettes. To what extent you agree?
According to
recent studies excessive eating habits have almost the same detrimental effects on people
's medical conditions as smoking. Hence
, some people
advocate for the idea that the promotion of certain food products
through advertisements
should be prohibited by the government authorities. I completely agree with the given statement, since these regulations might have some positive impacts on individuals' health.
Firstly
, some regulations should be enacted to deter people
from being exposed to certain ads that promote harmful products
. Advertisements
are generally designed to tempt people
to try their goods regardless of their negative effects on people
's health conditions. The main incentive of these companies is to earn as much profit as possible. Obviously, they do not pay enough attention to the qualities of the products
they produce. Therefore
, imposing rules that make businesses to be cautious of the goods they produce and promote might result in positive outcomes. For example
, authorities might penalize the
ads that only focus on deceiving the audience to purchase their Correct article usage
apply
products
instead
of showing them their ingredients and possible impacts on health. In addition
, taxing advertisements
for certain products
such
as cigarettes would demotivate the businesses to promote those products
and reduce the overall
consumption within society.
Secondly
, banning those advertisements
would encourage other businesses to concentrate on improving their products
to have more beneficial features to people
's diets. It would also
incentivize a few organizations to educate people
about the severe consequences of consuming unhealthy products
on their immune systems and the possible illnesses they might have down in the line such
as obesity, diabetes, and other diet-related diseases. For instance
, holding campaigns that familiarize people
with healthy diets and eating habits would result in better outcomes in the long run.
To conclude
, there are numerous ads that entice people
to develop harmful eating habits and try various products
that can deteriorate their medical conditions. I am of the opinion that, certain regulations should be prepared and imposed on advertisements
to protect consumers from the detrimental effects of those products
.Submitted by Dinare Abdullayeva on
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task achievement
Consider strengthening the examples to provide more concrete evidence. Drawing on specific studies or statistical data can add depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and introduces that idea clearly at the beginning. This will enhance the overall flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on expanding your conclusion slightly to reiterate the main points discussed in the essay. This will provide a stronger sense of closure.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the task and presents a logical argument with a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
There is a well-defined introduction and conclusion which frames the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
Good use of linking phrases, such as 'Firstly' and 'Secondly,' to organize ideas and maintain flow.
Your opinion
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?