IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter, - Explain why you changed jobs. - Describe your new job. - Tell him / her your other news.

#work #company #friend #jobs #job #news
Hi Steve, Hope you're doing well.
I'very m
Correct your spelling
I'm
 writing
this
 letter to inform you that I
finally
 started my work at Chaloub Group. Seriously,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 been very long since I'
ve
 been working for EVCARGO Global Forwarding LLC,
bascally
Correct your spelling
basically
 almost 10 years.
Moreover
, I'
ve
 been planning to move out
since
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for
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 a long time as I'
ve
 been in the Freight Forwarding industry for more than 14 years now. I was always looking forward to
work
Change the verb form
working
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 for a principal company and
handle
Wrong verb form
handling
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 their logistics and supply chain. As you must be aware
that
Correct word choice
apply
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Chaloub Group deals mainly with luxury products and I am responsible
to handle
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for handling
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 their complete logistics. I'
ve
 joined here as a Logistics manager and have around 20
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 reporting to me from the Operations and Customer service teams. Apart from that, by God's
grace
Add a comma
grace,
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 everything is well. I'm planning to get married soon, hopefully in a few
months
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month's
months'
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 time as we'
ve
 not decided
the
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on the
show examples
 dates yet since getting my leave approved
from
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by
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 my new company is not going to be easy.
Anyways
Correct your spelling
Anyway
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 will keep you posted on the dates and
expecting
Change the form of the verb
expect
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 you to attend the wedding. Regards, Vipin Abraham
Submitted by keerthy9209 on

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single idea per paragraph
Improve paragraphing by ensuring each paragraph has a single main idea.
complete response
Check for minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'I'very' and 'bascally'. Make sure every sentence is clear and accurate.
logical structure
Consider using more linking words to improve the logical structure of your letter.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing of the letter are warm and appropriate for the context.
complete response
The letter successfully addresses all parts of the task prompt.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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