Findings show that many criminals have low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prisons so that they can get job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Crimes
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are one of
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
crucial problems for any society. Findings discover the pattern between criminals and their low level of
education
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. Some people believe that increasing
level
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the level
show examples
of
education
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will reduce
number
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the number
show examples
of
crimes
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. I agree with
this
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statement and we will discuss
this
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question in
this
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essay.
Firstly
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, we will consider positive arguments. First and foremost, why do people commit
the
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apply
show examples
crimes
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? One of the reasons is a shortage of money,
for example
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,
worker
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a worker
the worker
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couldn't find a job and has
commited
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committed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
robbery to get some money.
Whereas
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unqualified workers often suffer from
a
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apply
show examples
joblessness
thus
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we set the relationship between
education
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and
crimes
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.
Other
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Another
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reason is an unfavourable social environment,
for example
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, a
getto
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ghetto
get to
of impecunious migrants where crime culture develops and gangs are
assempled
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assembled
hence
Linking Words
we should help them to start a decent life with the help of
education
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. The next reason is cultural and religious aspects, which can stop
person
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a person
the person
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from a nefarious deed. As a rule, the most
save
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safe
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countries,
such
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as Switzerland, Japan, and Sweden, stand out
their
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in their
show examples
advanced cultural features, moral peculiarities, and high level of
education
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.
Secondly
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, we will consider negative arguments. Ingenious offenders can commit elaborate
crimes
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which will be too complex for criminalists.
Also
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,
education
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eradicates not all crime incentives.
For instance
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, people who have mental disorders
such
Linking Words
as paranoia, schizophrenia, and more severe ones. They
haven't
Verb problem
aren't
show examples
education
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usually well
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, but commit
crimes
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for
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another reason. In conclusion, I am sure of
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
effectiveness of the educational approach inasmuch as it is a way to
happy
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a happy
show examples
life and insinuates the single proper relation to violations of laws.
Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on

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task achievement
To further strengthen the task response, consider providing more explicit examples or references to studies supporting the link between education and crime reduction.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the range of sentence structures and avoid repetition to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
coherence cohesion
A slight review of grammatical errors and better word choice will elevate the clarity and readability of your essay. This reduction of inaccuracies will improve the general understanding and fluidity of the text.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability and flow.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples, such as the challenges faced by unqualified workers and the cultural and religious aspects of crime prevention, helps to support the main points effectively.
task achievement
The discussion covers both positive and negative arguments, demonstrating a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • reintegration
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivist
  • vocational training
  • societal reintegration
  • preventive measures
  • holistic approach
  • root causes
  • self-discipline
  • addressing socio-economic issues
  • inmate education programs
What to do next:
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