Findings show that many criminals have low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prisons so that they can get job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Crimes
are one of all
crucial problems for any society. Findings discover the pattern between criminals and their low level of Correct determiner usage
the
education
. Some people believe that increasing level
of Correct article usage
the level
education
will reduce number
of Change the article
the number
crimes
. I agree with this
statement and we will discuss this
question in this
essay.
Firstly
, we will consider positive arguments. First and foremost, why do people commit the
Correct article usage
apply
crimes
? One of the reasons is a shortage of money, for example
, worker
couldn't find a job and has Add an article
a worker
the worker
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
the
robbery to get some money. Correct article usage
a
Whereas
unqualified workers often suffer from a
joblessness Remove the article
apply
thus
we set the relationship between education
and crimes
.
Other
reason is an unfavourable social environment, Change the wording
Another
for example
, a getto
of impecunious migrants where crime culture develops and gangs are Correct your spelling
ghetto
get to
assempled
Correct your spelling
assembled
hence
we should help them to start a decent life with the help of education
.
The next reason is cultural and religious aspects, which can stop person
from a nefarious deed. As a rule, the most Add an article
a person
the person
save
countries, Replace the word
safe
such
as Switzerland, Japan, and Sweden, stand out their
advanced cultural features, moral peculiarities, and high level of Change preposition
in their
education
.
Secondly
, we will consider negative arguments. Ingenious offenders can commit elaborate crimes
which will be too complex for criminalists. Also
, education
eradicates not all crime incentives. For instance
, people who have mental disorders such
as paranoia, schizophrenia, and more severe ones. They haven't
Verb problem
aren't
education
usually well as
, but commit Correct word choice
apply
crimes
for the
another reason.
In conclusion, I am sure of Remove the article
apply
an
effectiveness of the educational approach inasmuch as it is a way to Correct article usage
the
happy
life and insinuates the single proper relation to violations of laws.Add an article
a happy
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task achievement
To further strengthen the task response, consider providing more explicit examples or references to studies supporting the link between education and crime reduction.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the range of sentence structures and avoid repetition to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
coherence cohesion
A slight review of grammatical errors and better word choice will elevate the clarity and readability of your essay. This reduction of inaccuracies will improve the general understanding and fluidity of the text.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability and flow.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples, such as the challenges faced by unqualified workers and the cultural and religious aspects of crime prevention, helps to support the main points effectively.
task achievement
The discussion covers both positive and negative arguments, demonstrating a balanced approach to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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