Findings show that many criminals have low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prisons so that they can get job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#findings #show #criminals #level #education #people #crime #prisons #job

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Crimes

Use synonyms

are one of

all

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

crucial problems for any society. Findings discover the pattern between criminals and their low level of

education

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. Some people believe that increasing

level

Correct article usage

the level

show examples

education

Use synonyms

will reduce

number

Change the article

the number

show examples

crimes

Use synonyms

. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and we will discuss

this

Linking Words

question in

this

Linking Words

essay.

Firstly

Linking Words

, we will consider positive arguments. First and foremost, why do people commit

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes

Use synonyms

? One of the reasons is a shortage of money,

for example

Linking Words

worker

Add an article

a worker

the worker

show examples

couldn't find a job and has

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

the

Correct article usage

show examples

robbery to get some money.

Whereas

Linking Words

unqualified workers often suffer from

Remove the article

apply

show examples

joblessness

thus

Linking Words

we set the relationship between

education

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and

crimes

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Other

Change the wording

Another

show examples

reason is an unfavourable social environment,

for example

Linking Words

, a

getto

Correct your spelling

ghetto

get to

of impecunious migrants where crime culture develops and gangs are

assempled

Correct your spelling

assembled

hence

Linking Words

we should help them to start a decent life with the help of

education

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. The next reason is cultural and religious aspects, which can stop

person

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a person

the person

show examples

from a nefarious deed. As a rule, the most

save

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safe

show examples

countries,

such

Linking Words

as Switzerland, Japan, and Sweden, stand out

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

advanced cultural features, moral peculiarities, and high level of

education

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, we will consider negative arguments. Ingenious offenders can commit elaborate

crimes

Use synonyms

which will be too complex for criminalists.

Also

Linking Words

education

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eradicates not all crime incentives.

For instance

Linking Words

, people who have mental disorders

such

Linking Words

as paranoia, schizophrenia, and more severe ones. They

haven't

Verb problem

aren't

show examples

education

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usually well

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, but commit

crimes

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for

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another reason. In conclusion, I am sure of

Correct article usage

the

show examples

effectiveness of the educational approach inasmuch as it is a way to

happy

Add an article

a happy

show examples

life and insinuates the single proper relation to violations of laws.

Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on Tue Jul 02 2024

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task achievement

To further strengthen the task response, consider providing more explicit examples or references to studies supporting the link between education and crime reduction.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the range of sentence structures and avoid repetition to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

coherence cohesion

A slight review of grammatical errors and better word choice will elevate the clarity and readability of your essay. This reduction of inaccuracies will improve the general understanding and fluidity of the text.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability and flow.

task achievement

The use of relevant examples, such as the challenges faced by unqualified workers and the cultural and religious aspects of crime prevention, helps to support the main points effectively.

task achievement

The discussion covers both positive and negative arguments, demonstrating a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
reintegration
rehabilitation
recidivist
vocational training
societal reintegration
preventive measures
holistic approach
root causes
self-discipline
addressing socio-economic issues
inmate education programs

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Findings show that many criminals have low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prisons so that they can get job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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Differing amount of nitrogen oxide by four types of vehicles.

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