IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Context: Volunteer work is when people offer their time and effort to help others without being paid. Students often volunteer to gain valuable experience and give back to the community. Prompt: High school and university students should be required to complete a certain number of volunteer hours before graduating. Do you agree or disagree? Write a persuasive essay, choosing one side, agreeing or disagreeing, in around 400 words.

#context #volunteer #work #people #offer #time #effort #students #gain #community #school #university #hours #side
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Use synonyms
Volunteer
Wrong verb form
Volunteering
show examples
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 activity to help
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 who are
in
Change preposition
apply
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poor and lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
conditional
Replace the word
conditionality
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 in
life
Use synonyms
. It is more popular day by day nowadays. Someone
also
Linking Words
 said that high school or university students should be required to complete a certain number of
volunteer
Use synonyms
 hours before graduating. I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will tell you the reason why in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 passage.
Use synonyms
Volunteer
Add an article
The volunteer
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becomes
Verb problem
comes
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 from
Correct article usage
the human's
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human's
Change noun form
human
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heart
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 with the
expected
Replace the word
expectation
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 to help to give
people
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 in
diffucult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 to be better. But
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
 that,
also
Linking Words
 have
people
Use synonyms
 do not respect
this
Linking Words
 activity and just join it without helping to have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 achievement after that to show
admision
Correct your spelling
admission
 as "
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am a socialize
people
Use synonyms
 and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 always give them a better conditional
life
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" but
this
Linking Words
 is a fake face of them with a fake
heart
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 and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do not like forcing them
participate
Add the particle
to participate
show examples
Use synonyms
volunteer
Add the comma(s)
, volunteer
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. So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 always support
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
truly
Add a missing verb
are truly
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 ready to help
people
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 in poor without personal benefit and respect
volunteer
Use synonyms
 activity. As
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 said
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 passage,
instead
Linking Words
 of requiring students to complete a certain
hours
Correct quantifier usage
number of hours
show examples
 before graduating, we should tell them the story of
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in difficult and give them a kind
heart
Use synonyms
, from that they can be aware of joining
volunteer
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 is the
people
Use synonyms
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think every
volunteer
Use synonyms
 need because they have kind
heart
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, a
truly
Change the adverb
true
show examples
heart
Use synonyms
 to help other
people
Use synonyms
 without condition for themselves. In conclusion, The
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
Vietnam
Change preposition
of Vietnam
show examples
 should give
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 awareness of
Use synonyms
volunteer
Wrong verb form
volunteering
show examples
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
truly wanted help the poor community from
Use synonyms
heart
Correct article usage
the heart
show examples
, and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not
seem
Correct your spelling
see
show examples
 it as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work that they just join without helping as
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 said and submit
this
Linking Words
 achievement as they are a kind person always join and help to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
people
Use synonyms
 in
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Andy on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your essay has a clear and complete introduction. Define key terms and state your stance clearly.
relevant specific examples
Develop your main points with relevant and specific examples to make your argument more compelling.
logical structure
Improve the organization of your essay. Use paragraphs clearly to separate different ideas and points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas to provide a clear and comprehensive response. Make sure each point clearly supports your overall argument.
supported main points
The essay shows a strong sense of empathy and emphasizes the importance of genuine volunteerism.
complete response
The writer has a clear stance on the issue, providing reasons for their disagreement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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