IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The rapid urbanization of towns and cities has led to numerous problems. Discuss the main causes of urbanization and its effects on society

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Big city life is one of my
favorite
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favourite
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 lifestyles. You live in endless hustles and bustles with many plans and goals.
That is
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 why
such
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 energy
appeal
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appeals
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many
Change preposition
to many
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people
Use synonyms
 from rural territories to big mega policies, so every year we can easily notice
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great increase in the number of citizens in towns. Some
people
Use synonyms
 consider that there are only disadvantages
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
such
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 migration,
while
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 others have a different point of view, let us
discus
Correct your spelling
discuss
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 both sides. Personally, I consider that in every situation we can find pros and cons and urbanization
also
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 has
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 effect
om
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s lives. On the
on
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one
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 hand, more
people
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 – more lively bars and restaurants, more local facilities and just developed infrastructure. I highly enjoy living in crowded streets because you
don
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 not need to find a
place
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 to have
a
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apply
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lunch with your friends or you do not need to spend hours
taking
Verb problem
going
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 to the far chain stores because all of them you can find next to your house.
Moreover
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, when you have a lot of
people
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 in the city or in your district you can be sure that many services will be quite cheap.
Thus
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, in
Moscow
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Moscow,
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 you can easily get a taxi for 6 dollars using Yandex Taxi or Uber or
people
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 can even
with
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apply
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the free delivery
buy
Verb problem
apply
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food in restaurants, so there are many advantages, which we obtain from urbanization.
However
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,
It is clear that
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 there are some minuses in the increase
of
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in
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 population,
such
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 as high prices
on
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in
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 the real estate market, traffic jams and just big competition in your professional field. We can easily compare
acceptance
Correct article usage
the acceptance
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 rate in regions and Moscow.
Thus
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,
in
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at
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the
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apply
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Krasnodar State
University
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University,
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 you need to have minimum results to get
education
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an education
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 there,
while
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Moscow State
University
Add a comma
University,
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 you need to spend years of preparations,
some
Correct word choice
and some
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 tutors in order to be invited to their
bachelor
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bachelor's
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 degree programs. All in all,
in
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apply
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every
place
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 has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 ups and downs and the ideal
place
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 does not exist, so
people
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 should choose
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is the most comfortable
place
Use synonyms
 to
life
Replace the word
live
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: big city life or calm and stable living in
Correct article usage
a regions
show examples
regions
Fix the agreement mistake
region
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.

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task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both the causes and effects of urbanization, which is essential for the task. However, the argument could benefit from more specific examples and researched data to strengthen the points made. For future essays, consider incorporating statistics or real-world examples to support your arguments more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured and easy to follow, starting with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs discussing the pros and cons, and concluding with a summarizing statement. However, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Ensure each paragraph flows into the next more seamlessly by using linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Some main points are only partially supported. For instance, while you mention cheap services like taxis and food deliveries, providing specific contrasts or comparisons could enhance your argument. For example, comparing the cost of these services in a rural area versus an urban area could solidify your point.
general
There are several spelling and grammar mistakes (e.g., 'do not' instead of 'don’t', 'to life' instead of 'to live'). Reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading can help increase clarity and professionalism in your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is logical and easy to follow. You've successfully adhered to the format of introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in making your argument clear.
task achievement
Effective use of examples and personal experiences makes the essay engaging. Mentioning cities like Moscow and services like Yandex Taxi or Uber gives a real-world context to your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Population growth
  • Rural-to-urban migration
  • Economic opportunities
  • Industrialization
  • Infrastructure development
  • Housing shortages
  • Proliferation of slums
  • Public services
  • Traffic congestion
  • Social inequality
  • Environmental impact
  • Deforestation
  • Cultural shifts
  • Cultural exchange
  • Pollution
  • Overcrowding
  • Investment
  • Job prospects
  • Strain on resources
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