Some government say how many children a family can have in their country. they may control the number of children someone has through taxes it is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. do you agree or disagree?
These days, many
nations
are following various ways to control the population
of their country. Some are taking measures by imposing taxes on necessary goods. I totally support these measures as increasing
Add an article
the increasing
population
is not only burdenful
for the Correct your spelling
burden
nations
but it is effecting
the Correct your spelling
affecting
resources
around the globe. I will shed more light on the same in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, restricting the total members
in a family will help the family itself as Correct quantifier usage
number of members
increased
number of people will only add to their family Add an article
an increased
the increased
expense
. Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
This
will also
add burden
on the Correct article usage
a burden
resources
given by the government, especially to lower income
Add a hyphen
lower-income
group
as consumption per capita will increase leading to more demand Fix the agreement mistake
groups
of
items like food grains, Change preposition
for
ration
Fix the agreement mistake
rations
ecetera
. Correct your spelling
etc
According to
one of the report
given by Times Group, countries like Bangladesh Fix the agreement mistake
reports
is
facing a lot of grain Correct subject-verb agreement
are
shortage
Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
due to
population
outburst
in recent years.
Fix the agreement mistake
outbursts
Secondly
, more number of
occupants will require housing which means more land is required to build those houses. More land requirements Correct quantifier usage
apply
means
deforestation which is already a big concern for many Change the verb form
mean
nations
. Thus
, banning the number of people in one houshold
is Correct your spelling
household
utmost
Change preposition
of utmost
important
. Replace the word
importance
For instance
, in developing countries like India
a lot of money is spent on providing basic necessities of life to their citizens Add a comma
India,
instead
of utilization
the same Replace the word
utilising
resources
on building the country's development.
To conclude
, countries opting for population
control is the right step towards building a developed
Correct the article-noun agreement
a developed nation
developed nations
nations
as resources
being used to feed and uplift the citizens can be used in providing a better place to live for them.Submitted by bindiya.gupta01 on
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task achievement
While your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, it’s important to more precisely define the measures being discussed. Your essay mentions taxes on necessary goods but then shifts towards limiting family size, which could confuse readers.
coherence cohesion
You should aim to use a clearer logical structure by explicitly linking your reasons and examples to your argument. For example, rather than stating 'restricting the total members in a family will help the family itself,' you could elaborate more comprehensively on how these restrictions contribute to national benefits.
task achievement
Enhance your use of relevant and specific examples to bolster your points. For instance, regarding deforestation, providing statistical data or citing more specific studies would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure seamless transitions between paragraphs for better flow. Sometimes, your arguments jump between ideas without a strong connection, slightly affecting the overall coherence.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear stance and you maintain consistency in your viewpoint throughout the piece.
task achievement
The points on resource strain and the economic burden on lower-income families are relevant and well-explained.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.