In some counntries, the cost of living is rapidly increasing. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What effects might this have on society?
In
this
contemporary era, life is developing in some countries and the cost
of living is rapidly increasing. There are several reasons for this
issue and it affects many aspects of society. In this
essay, I will explain the reason
and effects of increasing the cost
of living.
Firstly
, there are two main reasons for increasing the cost
of living in some countries. The advance of technology is a significant reason
. For instance
, many countries follow the development of technology around the world. Thu, they mostly used it in many sectors of society to develop the economy of their country. As a result
of this
reason
, the cost
of living is quickly rising.
Secondly
, The second reason
is that there is a better chance of an individual. This
is because of building a smart person who helped improve their
herself and helped the economy of Correct pronoun usage
apply
country
. Add an article
the country
a country
According to
the
new report in Correct article usage
a
United
Correct article usage
the United
Satets
, " the mental of Correct your spelling
States
individual
is a main part to develop the country and Add an article
the individual
an individual
this
is affecting on
the Change preposition
apply
cost
of living in it".
In conclusion, there is no doubt that there are many reasons and affects if
rising the price of living. I Correct your spelling
effects of
belive
that The advance of Correct your spelling
believe
using
technology is a main factor Verb problem
apply
of
Change preposition
in
this
issue.Submitted by almeem on
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task achievement
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the main points are not sufficiently supported with specific details or examples. For instance, you mentioned the advancement of technology as a reason for the rising cost of living but didn't provide enough evidence or specific examples to fully support this point.
coherence cohesion
There are some areas where coherence could be improved. Linking words and phrases are used but could be more varied and accurate. For example, 'Thu' should be 'Thus,' and 'better chance of an individual' could be more clearly expressed.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score, work on providing more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Additionally, ensure that all points are fully elaborated and linked to the question.
coherence cohesion
Your sentences are sometimes difficult to understand due to grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. Pay attention to sentence structure and try to make your points clearer and more concise.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both parts of the task by identifying reasons for the increasing cost of living and its effects on society.
coherence cohesion
You have made an effort to have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, and the paragraphs are organized in a way that helps the reader follow your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite