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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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These days, the level of health care is increasing, so it provides an opportunity for people to have a longer lifetime and
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy.
While
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 living long has some drawbacks, I still believe that it cannot overshadow the benefits. On the one hand, the demerits of having a long lifespan are so varied.
For example
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, when populations are really old,
then
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 the governments have to spend a lot of money to look after them. In fact, their children do not have a lot of time to spend on taking care of their old parents;
moreover
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, a group of them do not have children;
as a result
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, authorities have to invest a budget in infrastructures that help these generations to do a range of the works and provide their medicines and health services are really hard and need a great deal of money.
On the other hand
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, the
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy and long
life
Use synonyms
 have several merits.
Firstly
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, if populations know that they can live for a long time with
this
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 medical care, they spend their
life
Use synonyms
 on the beneficial elements,
such
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 as innovating new devices, working efficiently, and so on.
In other words
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,
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy encourages people to do some works that have a positive effect.
Secondly
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, these factors prevent communities from being at risk of mental issues owing to the fact that it creates a chance for them to enjoy their lives.
To sum up
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, the bad points of
this
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 trend cannot eclipse the good points inasmuch as in
this
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 situation people prefer to spend their time on improving the level of quality of
life
Use synonyms
 through their activities.
In addition
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, they opt location that they like and radiates a good feeling for them.

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task achievement
Add specific examples to support your points. This will further demonstrate your understanding of the topic and increase the relevance of your response.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph transitions and maintaining a smooth flow of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a well-rounded conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt in a complete manner, discussing both advantages and disadvantages.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consequences
  • improved medical care
  • life expectancy
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • healthcare
  • quality of life
  • population
  • economic burden
  • elderly
  • dependency
  • technology
  • ethical concerns
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