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Band 6

Do children behave better when they are physically punished or rewarded? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The effectiveness of disciplinary methods in shaping
children
's
behaviour
 has long been debated.
While
 some advocate for physical
punishment
 as a deterrent, others favour positive reinforcement through rewards.
This
 essay will explore both perspectives and argue that positive reinforcement is generally more beneficial for
children
's development. Proponents of physical
punishment
 argue that it swiftly corrects misbehaviour and teaches
children
 to respect authority.
For example
, a mild spank or a stern rebuke may immediately halt disobedient
behaviour
, establishing clear boundaries.
This
 approach, proponents argue, ensures discipline and obedience, crucial for a child's socialization and adaptation to societal norms.
However
, opponents of physical
punishment
 highlight its potential negative consequences. Research suggests that
children
 subjected to physical discipline may develop increased aggression and anxiety, affecting their emotional well-being and social interactions.
Moreover
, it fails to teach
children
 alternative ways to handle conflicts or manage their
behaviour
 in the long term. In conclusion,
while
 physical
punishment
 may offer short-term compliance, its potential harm to
children
's emotional well-being and the lack of long-term behavioural benefits argue against its use. Positive reinforcement,
on the other hand
, promotes positive
behaviour
 through encouragement and support, contributing to healthy psychological development and strong parent-child bonds. Ultimately, fostering a nurturing environment based on rewards and encouragement is more effective in shaping
children
's
behaviour
 positively and preparing them for future challenges.
Submitted by patelvaibhav1463 on

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task achievement
Strengthen the examples provided by adding more specific details or studies to add credibility
coherence cohesion
Ensure a balanced discussion of both views. While you did a good job, a more in-depth analysis of both sides will enhance the overall argument
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulates the main argument.
task achievement
The ideas are clearly presented and the argument for positive reinforcement is convincingly laid out.
coherence cohesion
The language used is formal and appropriate for an academic essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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