Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the numbers of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There are many ways to improve general social wellness. Some

poeople

Correct your spelling

people

believe that increasing physical activity

facilites

Correct your spelling

facilities

is important,

while

Linking Words

others

argues

Change the verb form

argue

show examples

that other measures are required. In

this

Linking Words

essay,

Change the capitalization

show examples

will discuss both views and give my opinion about the topic. Nowadays,

health

Use synonyms

awareness is rising,

Correct word choice

and more

show examples

and more

people

Use synonyms

believe that a great way to improve it could be

building

Change preposition

by building

show examples

new

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities.

This

Linking Words

could motivate

people

Use synonyms

workout

Correct your spelling

work out

show examples

and get in shape.

For example

Linking Words

, it is way easier and safer for

people

Use synonyms

to run

Change preposition

show examples

a specific route rather than running on the streets where cars go by.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, if there are several

facilites

Correct your spelling

facilities

in a city,

such

Linking Words

as pools, basketball grounds,

gyms

Correct word choice

and gyms

show examples

, it is easier for

people

Use synonyms

mantain

Correct your spelling

maintain

healthy habits.

This

Linking Words

can lead to an improvement in

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

hand.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

believe that

this

Linking Words

could have a small effect on

pulic

Correct your spelling

public

health

Use synonyms

. They believe that

opther

Correct your spelling

other

measures are required.

Firstly

Linking Words

, sport sometimes is not the only way to get to a healthy lifestyle. There are many more aspects

such

Linking Words

as dietary habits that help improve

people

Use synonyms

health

Use synonyms

. A person could train

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

but still have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

poor

health

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

an inadequate diet.

Moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should pay attention to sodium and sugar contained in drinks and foods.

To sum up

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that both opinions can help

people

Use synonyms

improve their

health

Use synonyms

. I believe that

health

Use synonyms

issues often have different causes so it's important to pay attention to what we can control.

chi63hi Wed Jul 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

There are quite a few minor spelling and grammar errors (e.g., 'poeople', 'argues', 'mantain', 'hand' instead of 'health'). Pay more attention to proofreading.

clarity

The argument could be further strengthened by providing more detailed examples and evidence.

cohesion

Some sentences could be more cohesive. For instance, the transition between sentences could be smoother, especially when introducing opposing views.

introduction

The introduction clearly outlines the two views and states that the essay will discuss both, which helps frame the response well.

conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and reiterates your opinion, which provides a solid end to the discussion.

content

The ideas are relevant and cover multiple aspects of the topic, signifying a good understanding of the subject.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
inclusive fitness
public health campaigns
lifestyle diseases
preventative health measures
health infrastructure
wellness initiatives
nutritional education
health-conscious
behavioural change
motivational outreach
physical wellbeing
cross-sectional collaboration
government subsidies
public health policy

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Tourism contributes significant amount of income to many countries. Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of this
Tourism is an ever-growing industry which contributes a greater portion of income to the government in many nations. This essay will examine the potential advantages and disadvantages of this industry on our society as well as on individuals.
7.5
band
Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?
Without any doubt, human practices have been responsible for causing global warming problems on the planet. Reckless cutting of trees, proliferating pollution and much more are some of the potential reasons behind this concern. This essay will discuss the reasons and preventive approach to mitigate this concern in detail.
6.5
band
Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the cause? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler?
In the modern era, travelling has become an indispensable part of human being. Some people believe that this trend has increased gradually than ever before. In this essay, I will explain the reasons behind this notion as well as I will provide a list of advantages that individuals can have from it.
8
band
nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?
Today, individuals have been living in the modern era, and many people struggle to get enough sleep because life has become increasingly demanding. Many folks lead hectic and restless lifestyles, and consequently, sleep deprivation has become a major problem in the contemporary world. In this essay, I will discuss the effects of lack of sleep and how to manage sleep routines.
6
band
Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in the modern world, and what effects does it have on the people concerned and on society as a whole.
Nowadays, illiteracy is a significant and discussable problem, which can have wide effects on people's life and their community. There seem to be two causes and a number of effects, which we will discuss here.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the numbers of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Tourism contributes significant amount of income to many countries. Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of this

Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the cause? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler?

nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in the modern world, and what effects does it have on the people concerned and on society as a whole.