Many people today spend most of their free time at home watching TV series or movies instead of going out. Do You think this is right or wrong ?

#people #time #home #tv #series #movies #right

Nowadays, with the advent of new streaming platforms

such

as Netflix and YouTube, more and more

people

prefer to spend their free time at

home

watching TV shows or movies. I believe that

this

is a wrong

habits

Change the noun form

habit

show examples

and

this

can have many drawbacks, especially on the youngest.

Firstly

, spending too much time at

home

to watch television could lead to social isolation and could make interaction with others more difficult.

For example

, little children need to interact with others in order to become more mature and improve their communication skills.

Moreover

, staying at

home

and snaking in front of a movie can

also

lead to health problems

such

as sedentarism, weight gain and other health problems. In fact, a sedentary lifestyle can bring cardiovascular problems mainly in elder

people

For instance

, after a long day at work, the majority of

people

prefer to relax over a movie rather than do some physical activity.

Furthermore

, our generation is often exposed to technology

Change preposition

show examples

every moment of the day, at school or at work with computers and tablets. It would be beneficial for

people

to stay away from technological devices at

home

and opt for other hobbies

such

as baking, reading and listening to music. Those hobbies help us to stimulate creativity and to get in touch with

ourselfs

Correct your spelling

ourselves

show examples

and they can be an opportunity to connect with friends and family. In conclusion, I believe that watching movies or TV shows sometimes is a good idea but I would limit it because it could turn into a hill-habit.

Submitted by chi63hi on Wed Jul 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider using more varied transition words and linking phrases to smoothly connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

task response

The essay addresses the prompt effectively and covers several reasons why spending excessive time watching TV at home can be detrimental. To improve, try integrating more specific examples to illustrate your points further.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint.

logical structure

Each paragraph has a clear main idea, contributing to a coherent overall structure.

relevant specific examples

You provided specific downsides of spending too much time watching TV, like social isolation and health problems, which are relevant and strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

escapism
economical choice
financially wiser
quality time
health risks
social isolation
face-to-face interaction
sedentary lifestyle
cardiovascular problems
over-reliance
real-life skills
creative stimulation
genres
inspiration
alleviate stress

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Many people today spend most of their free time at home watching TV series or movies instead of going out. Do You think this is right or wrong ?

Fully explain your ideas

some people dislike changes in their society and in their lives,and want things to stay the same. why do some people want things to stay the same? why should change be regarded as something positive?

Nowadays, with advance of technology and transportation facilities, people can work and live anywhere they want. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion.

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

with the developments of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situation what solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?