IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that schools should choose their student according to their abilities. While other people think students with different abilities should learn together. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #schools #student #abilities #students
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays school systems undergo a lot of changes. Many people believe that schools should
devide
Correct your spelling
divide
decide
students
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 different classes
according to
 their abilities and
skills
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that it is not correct to make distinctions. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss both visions and give my personal opinion.
To begin
 with, some
students
 have prodigious talents or are more interested in certain subjects.
Thus
 segregating them in a class could benefit their
skills
.
For example
, kids with a particular talent could nurture it and they could be prepared for specific careers,
studying
Change preposition
by studying
show examples
 the subjects in more detail.
Furthermore
, selecting
students
 based on abilities could lead to a tailored educational experience.
On the other hand
, mixed-ability classes encourage
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
 and
childer
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 could learn from each other's
strenghts
Correct your spelling
strengths
 and weaknesses. Educating
students
 together promotes equality and can help them earn
skills
 from the gifted ones.
Also
, separating
students
 by ability is
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 is not fair. In conclusion, I believe
students
 with different abilities should be able to learn together because it helps them
improving
Change the form of the verb
improve
show examples
 their
skills
.
Submitted by chi63hi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
While the logical structure is generally clear, there are some areas that could be improved. For example, the points could be further developed with more detailed examples and explanations.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. While your essay discusses both views and provides a clear opinion, the response could be deepened with more comprehensive ideas and more relevant examples.
general
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors such as 'leaning' instead of 'learning', 'childer' instead of 'children', and 'strenghts' instead of 'strengths'. These small errors can affect the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
The essay successfully discusses both sides of the argument and gives a personal opinion, as required by the task prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which contributes to a well-rounded structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tailored education
  • prodigious talent
  • career paths
  • segregating
  • competitive environment
  • inclusive
  • diverse learning environment
  • peer learning
  • irrespective
  • stigma
  • lower ability group
  • balanced approach
  • cater
  • inclusivity
  • diversity
  • respect
What to do next:
Look at other essays: