Children all over the world should learn to speak a single, universal language fluently in addition to their native language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

t is believed that
children
should learn international
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
along with
their mother tongue . I completely agree with
this
initiative because it will help
children
in the future to get
jobs
easily and it
also
helps to build relationships with foreign
people
. The primary reason is that universal
language
plays a crucial role for many
people
to get high-demand
jobs
.If teachers in the school teach English fluently to
children
then
it would be easy for young pupils to find better-skilled
jobs
in the future .
Moreover
,
children
can learn a new
language
easily in the early stage of their life ,so, it would be beneficial to teach a new
language
in the beginning .
For instance
, many high-demand
jobs
like engineering ,digital marketing and in health sector look for communication skills
as well as
practical skills . Another reason is that it helps
children
to communicate with immigrants and understand their culture.International
language
is the common
language
through which everyone can share their beliefs .If the young generation speaks a universal
language
fluently with immigrants
then
it would be easy for them to build friendly relationships and understand the wide range of cultures around the world .
For instance
, many immigrant
children
in Canada feel safe and friendly
while
going to school because they speak English fluently with native
people
,
thus
, helping young
people
to build close relationships with others. In conclusion , young pupils around the world should learn an international
language
with their native
language
because it will help them to build
a close bonds
Correct the article-noun agreement
close bonds
a close bond
show examples
with foreigners and chance to get
high paid
Correct your spelling
high-paying
show examples
jobs
in the future .
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear answer to the question and does a good job of explaining why you agree with the statement. However, try to explore counterarguments and address them as well. This can make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but the transitions between ideas can be smoother. Try using more transitional phrases and conjunctions to connect your points.
task achievement
While your main points are relevant and supported by examples, ensure that each idea is fully developed. Some of your examples and explanations could use a bit more elaboration to provide depth.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes your main points, but it could restate the importance of learning a universal language slightly more emphatically to leave a lasting impact.
task achievement
Your introduction is clear and sets up your argument well.
task achievement
The essay's main points are relevant and effectively supported by examples, making your argument persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is present and effectively summarizes the main points, reinforcing the argument made in the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • fluently
  • native language
  • effective communication
  • global understanding
  • unity
  • educational opportunities
  • career opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • social integration
  • language barriers
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