The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

Here's your essay with grammatical corrections, aiming for clarity and accuracy. I've

also

Linking Words

made some stylistic improvements for a more formal academic tone, as expected in an IELTS essay. It is often argued that online marketplaces will capture a larger market share than local businesses. I completely agree with

this

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opinion and will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs.

Firstly

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, the virtual shopping

experience

Use synonyms

offers great convenience and 24/7 availability.

This

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is because individuals do not have to leave their homes to shop; they can sit on the couch and order as many clothes as they desire. Nowadays, one can upload a picture on a website and virtually try on clothes; AI is responsible for

this

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possibility.

This

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experience

Use synonyms

is available at any time around the clock, with no restrictions on time. The reason for

this

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is that,

instead

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of needing a tangible item in front of you, objects can be represented digitally through images, video, 3D models, and virtual reality, thanks to advancements in technology.

For instance

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, from personal

experience

Use synonyms

, I recently bought my specs via an online platform at around 1 am, and the virtual 3D model

experience

Use synonyms

was amazing.

Secondly

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, e-commerce

platforms

Use synonyms

offer affordability in terms of price. A key factor is that there is no distributor in the middle of the chain. Products are sold by the manufacturer directly to the consumer.

Moreover

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, marketing costs can

also

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be saved on the product because they are often absorbed or reduced by the digital retailer.

For example

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, electronic items incur significant taxation and charges that the customer has to pay if they are buying from a local shop,

whereas

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online

platforms

Use synonyms

can offer exclusive discounts.

Thus

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, in terms of pricing, online

platforms

Use synonyms

have a better advantage. In conclusion, I firmly believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

10 years from now, online shopping will cover 80-85% of the consumer market.

This

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is because of the convenience, availability, and affordability offered by online shopping

platforms

Use synonyms

tirthpatel.8695Wed Jun 18 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph clearly connects to your main idea for stronger flow.

task achievement

Expand on your examples with more details for better support.

task achievement

Make your conclusion slightly more impactful by summarizing key points succinctly.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is great for task response.

task achievement

The use of personal experience adds a relatable touch to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

322 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

e-commerce
brick-and-mortar
physical stores
online retailers
retail apocalypse
digital economy
consumer behavior
sustainability
commercial landscape
high-street
consumer trends
augmented reality
showrooms
carbon footprint

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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that University degree is needed for good profession while others believe that experiences plays the key role, so people should go work straight after school.

Young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities such as hiking and climbing in nature. Why is this? And how can we encourage them to go out?

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times.They don't want their children to read any entertainment books because they think it is a waste of time.Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?why?

In some countries around the world, there have been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling education outweigh the disadvantages?