some people think that having a set retirement age of 65 for everybody, regardless ocupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retaired and receive a pension at an earlier age do you agree or disagree
It has been observed that the majority of the countries follow a certain
retirement
age
limit either 60 or 65 based on the government rules. However
some Add a comma
However,
people
believe that certain occupations demand employees to retire at an early age
and receive the benefits based on the services they provide to the country. In my view, although
I accept that all people
should be treated equally, there are certain jobs that demand early retirement
and the employees should receive the rewards at an early age
.
To begin
with, people
who work
in military service stay away from their families and loved ones for a longer period of time
. Their work
demands to stay in remote places and at times their life go through dangerous situations
. Since they start to work
at an earlier age
, not only do they stay away from their families but also
, they are not living a peaceful life. By providing an early retirement
option, they can spend their time
on other aspects of life which they are interested in. This
can bring a positive feeling among those people
and they feel compensated for the sacrifices they have made.
Another industry which demands early retirement
is for people
who work
in Navy
Correct article usage
the Navy
force
and sailing. Capitalize word
Force
This
is also
similar to the people
who work
in the army and only the difference is they spend their youth in the ocean away from their homes. They also
face dangerous situations
and at times even go through life-or-death situations
. It is important for any country to show their
respect and gratitude for Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
who provide such
services so that they benefit in some ways from the time
they spend away from their loved ones. For example
, my uncle worked in Navy
Department and he stayed away from his family for a long Correct article usage
the Navy
time
. He missed celebrations, his children’s birthdays, family time
and even he was unavailable at
some emergency Change preposition
in
situations
. At times, he was upset about these things even though he was incredible at his work
. If he had the option for an early retirement
, he could have spent the time
with the people
he loved.
To conclude
, having a certain retirement
age
is good to some extent in various occupations. However
, this
practice is not beneficial for all people
considering the kind of jobs and the dangers associated with it. In my view, certain jobs deserve an early retirement
and they should receive the benefits at an earlier age
.Submitted by greeshmav91 on
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general
Ensure to proofread for minor typos or grammatical errors, such as 'retaired' instead of 'retired.'
task response
Make sure to fully develop each example to enhance paragraph support.
coherence cohesion
Create a stronger thematic link between your introduction and conclusion by rephrasing key arguments.
task response
Clear differentiation of specific workers who might benefit from an earlier retirement age with detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Logical flow of ideas connecting the hardships of certain professions with the potential for early retirement.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example