Museums and art galleries should focus on works that show the history and culture of their own country rather than cultural of other parts of the works. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the proliferation of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
art places,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as museums and art galleries made a
lot
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

aware of these areas.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a wide range of individuals are
considereing
Correct your spelling
considering
considered

If you don’t want considereing to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

more in their history,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are looking for
foregin
Correct your spelling
foreign

If you don’t want foregin to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

cultures. I am in a balanced opinion and
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with

The phrase following the intransitive verb agree seems to be missing a preposition. Consider adding one.

show examples
both statements. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay, I will illustrate both views. On the one hand, our
anccestors
Correct your spelling
ancestors

If you don’t want anccestors to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

left for us a massive
tresure
Correct your spelling
treasure

If you don’t want tresure to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. We should be more proud of these things and try to preserve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
other generations.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, our culture
are resembling
Wrong verb form
resembles

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are resembling. Consider changing it.

show examples
our
identit
Correct your spelling
identity

If you don’t want identit to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

show examples
and demonstrates our basis. It
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

shows
from
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
where our country
stsrted
Correct your spelling
started

If you don’t want stsrted to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and how our present
took
Wrong verb form
has taken

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb took. Consider changing it.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

shape now.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Egypt now
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject Egypt. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
building the biggest museum in the world.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

museum will assist
there
Replace the word
their

The word there may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

show examples
citizens to be aware more about
there
Correct your spelling
their

The word there doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
past and
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show

It seems that the verb shows does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
how the phoros were
an
Change the article
a

The article an may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word stunning.

show examples
stunning
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, We should be updated with
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

others culture
Fix the agreement mistake
other cultures

It seems that others culture may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can help us to know about
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

others
Change noun form
others'
other's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
lives and exchange
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
crucial data.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a
lot
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can learn a new language from
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

others
Correct quantifier usage
other

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

show examples
civilisation.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we can see
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

others
Change noun form
others'
other's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
history without
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling

The spelling of traveling is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
to any place.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can alleviate the price of the trip and no one can exploit us. Moving
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

method can help the government to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise

The word rise doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their

If you don’t want thier to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

income and can
Add a missing verb
be cosidere
show examples
cosidere
Correct your spelling
consider
considered

If you don’t want cosidere to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

as
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun revenue in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
revenue for our country.
ON
Correct your spelling
One

The word ON doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
of the sparked
instacne
Correct your spelling
instances

If you don’t want instacne to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

is England. It contains a
lot
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of museums which have
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

others
Correct quantifier usage
other

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

show examples
monuments.
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

method made a
lot
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
euorpen
Correct your spelling
European

If you don’t want euorpen to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

went
Wrong verb form
go

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb went. Consider changing it.

show examples
there and watch
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this statues
Change the determiner
this statue
these statues

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun statues. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

show examples
.
IN
Correct your spelling
In

The word IN doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
conclusion,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

argument will
be depended
Wrong verb form
depend

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb be depended. Consider changing it.

show examples
from
Change preposition
on from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
one to another and
aslo
Correct your spelling
also

If you don’t want aslo to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

many reasons. We can see, a diverse
various
Replace the word
variety

The word various doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
of countries are dearth from history so they try
put
Add the particle
to put

It appears that the verb put should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

show examples
others
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

culture.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer in stating your position. Consider starting directly with a clear thesis statement on your stance rather than stating you'll illustrate both views.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly supports your thesis. The body paragraphs, although related, sometimes introduce multiple ideas that could be better organized.
task achievement
Revisit grammar and spelling mistakes, such as 'anccestors', 'tresure', 'identit', 'stsrted'. Enhanced grammar and vocabulary will significantly improve readability and score.
coherence cohesion
The transition words are occasionally inappropriate or missing ('moving further, for instance'), which affects coherence. Work on smoothening these transitions.
task achievement
You show an attempt to balance both sides of a complex issue, which demonstrates critical thinking.
task achievement
Providing specific examples like Egypt and England shows your attempt to concretize abstract ideas, which is beneficial for Task Achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an identifiable introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This basic structure works well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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