The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from.

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from.
The line graph represents all the
expenditure
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expenditures
show examples
by numbers, describing each
country
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country's
show examples
annual visitor spend in New Zealand. Starting with Australia, USA, UK,
Japan
, and
finally
ending with China over a
period
of nine years between1996 and 2014.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that during
this
nine-year
period
, Australia remained the biggest number of annual visitors, with all four other countries spending much less on
expenditure
.
Whereas
, the smallest
expenditure
was by China.
According to
the graph, Australia showed almost 1000
expenditure
in the first year,
however
, it changed dramatically until it reached 2500 in 2006. Afterwards, there was a slight drop and
at the
end
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end,
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it illustrated 2100.
Whilst
Correct word choice
apply
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, China started with
least
Correct word choice
the lowest
show examples
number exactly 0, but till 2004 it showed a positive trend unless it had dropped to approximately 250 in 2008 and in 2014 it presented around 400. As the USA
expenditure
rate
suggest
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suggests
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, USA
expenditure
showed a noticeable rise
1750
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of 1750
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in the seventh-year
period
.
Nevertheless
, it
had
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apply
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decreased to 1400 in
four-year
Add an article
a four-year
the four-year
show examples
period
. UK’s
expenditure
was a little
low
Correct word choice
lower
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than
Japan
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Japan's
show examples
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
it only saw a little drop between 1996 and 2002 and between 2008 and 2010 and after
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
even reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over 1000 which is 500 more in comparison with
Japan
. Now turning to
Japan
,
Japan
had a good start around 500in 1996 but there was more
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
downward tendency than an increase.
Hence
, it figured around 600 in 2014.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, japan, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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