Police in some countries like England don't carry guns. Some people don't approve of this because they think that police with guns gives them security. Others think that police carrying guns decreases crimes. What is your opinion? Give relevant examples and experiences.

There is a group of countries where the
police
are not armed.
People
argue against
this
new concept because some feel less secure and others consider that it will contribute to diminishing the crime rate. Personally, I agree with the safety sensation when the
authority
carries a gun.
This
essay will discuss
this
statement and provide some examples to support the argument. In the first order of ideas, since the beginning of time,
Police
officers
were well defined as impeccable
people
, with high moral values, wearing their uniforms and their emblematic
guns
. All of
this
together defines a
police
officer
such
an
authority
citizen who protects
people
in need when are in an unsafe
situation
.
For example
, the moment a march past is convocated it is under the custody of the national
police
officers
,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
the country where I am from they are the only
people
allowed to be armed, which does not mean that in all situations it will be the best
case
scenario that from the beginning till the end the
people
will behave as per the expectations. But if a fortuitous
case
makes the
situation
out of control
Police
officer are able to control the
situation
easier than if they do not carry their
guns
. That scenario would be scariest for those who do not like
guns
at all.
On the other hand
, having
this
new trend for
police
officers
who do not need to carry
guns
and still are an
authority
symbol for the citizens, seems like a subliminal message of security. Considering the same
situation
above, where parole is programmed and has to be under
police
custody, I might believe that it has to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
designate a higher number of
officers
to cover that event just in
case
things get out of control and they have to pacify numerous groups of
people
. The worst
case
scenario is that one person carries a gun and the
police
who is the
authority
symbol is surprisingly incapable of protecting their citizens and stopping the aggressor.
This
kind of
situation
triggers
people
's minds and develops unprotected feelings when their
police
officers
are unarmed. In conclusion, a gun is not the only way to protect
people
but I strongly believe
that is
fundamental equipment used by a
police
officer in an emergency that ensures the protection felling to their citizens.
Submitted by mantonieta.albarracin on

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coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and improve clarity. Breaking longer sentences into shorter ones can enhance readability.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and experiences to strengthen your arguments. Personal anecdotes or data can make your points more compelling.
general
Ensure varied vocabulary and sentence structures to avoid repetition and maintain reader interest.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a defined introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You present a balanced view, acknowledging both sides of the issue before stating your opinion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing the main points related to police carrying guns and public safety.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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