IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied thay were with their visit, during the same two periods.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied thay were with their visit, during the same two periods.
#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #surveys #thay #visit #two #periods
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The first table provides information about the total number of visitors to Ashdown Museum from the unrefurbished
year
Use synonyms
 to
completely
Correct article usage
the completely
show examples
 refurbished
year
Use synonyms
.The second bar chart displays the percentage of visitor satisfaction during the same two periods.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 after
refurbishment
Use synonyms
,Ashdown Museum saw an increase in the number of visitors,from 74,000 to 92,000.
Moverover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,it can be seen that the level of visitor satisfaction
also
Linking Words
 rose. Looking at the information in more detail,the
year
Use synonyms
 before
refurbishment
Use synonyms
,the major visitor felt dissatisfied,at 40%.Followed by,the proportion of very dissatisfied accounted for 30%.As for the percentages of very satisfied and satisfied at 15% and 10%,respectively. In terms of the
year
Use synonyms
 after
refurbishment
Use synonyms
,it
is notice
Change the verb form
is noticed
show examples
 that the result has a significant change.The visitors who feel very satisfied constituted 40%,which is the highest percentage out
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 categories.
Additionally
Linking Words
,the proportion of very satisfied at 35%.
Compare
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 to the
year
Use synonyms
 before
refurbishment
Use synonyms
,the proportion of dissatisfied and very satisfied both witnessed a
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
,with the former at 5% and the latter at 15%.
Submitted by zora840810 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words year, refurbishment with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: